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Edited by Esko: 5/30/2017 4:09:43 PM
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I need help with a girl

There's this girl I like in this class I do an I wanna -blam!- her but I'm too much of a big puss to actually talk to her. How do I grow some balls, #Offtopic?

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  • Once you finally talk to her DO NOT I repeat DO NOT bring up your ex too much it will make it seem like she's just a replacement for the Ex and a lot of girls hate that.

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    • Edited by Vizard: 5/30/2017 4:54:43 PM
      Just tell her this.... [spoiler]Let me smash[/spoiler]

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      • Sneak into her room at night and pee on her carpet. That's as far as I've gotten so you'll need to work out the rest

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        • Do the thing with the thing.

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        • Try xbox.com

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        • Just walk up and tell her

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        • Shoot her with a tranq MGSV style then attach a Fulton to her. After that she's yours.

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          • "we'll bang ok?"

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            • Toast/envelope.

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            • Kidnap, tie her down, then proceed to kiss cheek. They love that shit

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            • Go up to her and speak. Or if you're nervous just wait for the perfect opportunity.

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            • so u want to grow some balls huh? well, first off, how big of a bulge r u looking for? do u have a preference for symmetry or kinda favor one side over the other? do u mind pumping twice a day? it gets the edema fluid circulating twice as much in the sack, but u need the right size jar (Jif, Skippy, helps with ease). whats the background on ur crush? do u kno, at all, if she finds bulges enticing or does she go more for pecs or abs? cant help u without further context. when i was in hs, we wore loose & baggy denims, but kids these days rock the tight skinnies..r u a hipster? maybe ur balls r choked out too much (without pumping)..straining them over time can imaginably cause damage, which, obviously, is self-defeating. do they hurt u when u stretch ur legs out in class, instead of bulging naturally on their own? thats the second step - provide ample room for ur balls to flex on their own merit, then work ur way up towards placement..ideally, ur balls land where u want them on the first attempt (hands-free). im sure a simple Google search can help u get started.

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              • You say, "Hey bby, you wanna some fūck?"

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                • More people have seen the bird video than I thought

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                  • I have some teste growing supplements of you want. Within 3.7 days you should have a pair of fully functioning testicles.

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                  • [quote][b][i][u]"wun sum fuk"[/u][/i][/b][/quote]

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                  • Not have a vagina is step one.

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                    • 1. Go to your local nursery and buy some ball seeds 2. Be sure to plant them in a rich healthy soil 3. Be sure to water 3 times a day for a month 4. To continue growth of balls, continue to water until desired size is achieved 5. Go ask the girl out Good luck

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                    • Glue ping pong balls to your nether regions. No need to grow them.

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                    • Grow a testicle [spoiler]Yes I meant one[/spoiler]

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                    • Become tranzam get ball attachment surgery pork chicks with your new boygirl balls

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                    • I thought you said you were a girl in a different thread

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                      • Well my friend, there is only one way to know if a girl likes you. Here is what you have to do. Put some toast in an envelope with her name on it and give said envelope to her. Then wait for up to two days. If she gives you an envelope back..., do not open it until you get home. Get home, open it and there should be nude pics of her inside. The next day talk to her alone after or before school. Then you have to say a secret code, is the peanut butter in the potato? If she answers, No it is in the apple sauce, then she likes you. If she kicks you in the balls and runs away, then it is safe to say she is not interested. Hope that helps.

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                      • Construct a wooden effigy in her image, then set it aflame with the fires of your heart (and actual fire, since your heart won't actually make it catch fire). She'll be all over you. She'll have to -blam!- you then! Be warned, though. Several things can go wrong which I will now go over in detail in the section below. --- [b]Warning:[/b] Make sure you can identify which one is the [b]effigy[/b] and which one is the [b]human[/b]. You don't want to accidentally burn the wrong one. Instead of being all over you, she'll just be all over. [b]Second Warning:[/b] Do not "[i]accidentally[/i]" fall in love with the effigy while creating it. Your family will not understand the love you two will share. [b]Third Warning:[/b] Do not, and I repeat, do not-- [i]What was that noise? Oh, hold on a second. My wife's arm just fell off. I gotta go fix it right quick... ... ... ... Alright, I'm back. Where were we? Hey, you seem concerned... If it's about my wife, you really shouldn't be concerned. I mean, it isn't that big of a deal. You see, the wood I used to build her isn't exactly the strongest, so it falls apart rather easily. Especially the arms.[/i] (I really went on a tangent there. I guess that's why this subforum is called... *puts on sunglasses* ...Off-Topic. YEEAAAHHHH!)

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                      • You don't...

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                      • Toast/envelope

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