[spoiler]Non-Canon.[/spoiler]
"BraveCole!" Becky shouted. "Brave, what's wrong!?"
BraveCole the Titan was spazzing out uncontrollably on the floor, foaming from the mouth as his limbs went nuts.
"Aksisss.. C-Challenge!" He growled out. "Arggghghhhhhhhhggg!!!"
"What? You've been doing it for the last seven.. Oh my god. Seven [b][i]hours!?[/i][/b] Brave, what the hell! You know that isn't good for you!"
"EMPOWERED RIGHT! EMPOWERED RIGHT! NEED HELP WITH-... CAPTAAAAAAAINNNNNNNN!!!!"
Becky sighed. "Now look at you. That challenge has fried your brain."
BraveCole gagged. "WE NEED AN EMPOWERED LEFT! N-NO! LEFT! LEFT! WHO'S.. ERRRGHHH, HE'S RIGHT! HE'S RIGHT! W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S NO ONE RIGHT!? GRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"
Becky flew near BraveCole's head. "You poor thing. I told you to give Tower LFG a break, honey."
"-blam!-! HE'S MID! MID! YES, GOOD SLAM! HAHA..WAIT.. WHERE'S THE GOD DAMN SUPERCHARGE!? -blam!-!!!"
BraveCole got on all fours and began dry heaving. "Warpath.. D-Dark Drinker.. Watch out for.. SIVA swarm.. -blam!-.." He collapsed.
"I guess you could say that you had your.." Becky trailed off. [b][i]"Aksis Denied."[/i][/b]
BraveCole sprung back to life. "[b]I'LL -blam!-ING KILL YOU!"[/b]
Edit: Holy shit guys, this is a joke, I know how to do the Aksis challenge, I have already completed it. Let's not take this post too seriously okay?
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I actually enjoyed the aksis challenge, found it to be quite a challenge compared to the other challenges of raids.
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Joke post or not, Skolas, in year one, is the only difficult pve content Destiny had to offer
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Literally all raid challenges are easy...
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Edited by knobmeoff: 4/21/2017 5:18:47 PMIf this challenge is hard for you, just wait until you increase your sad 1.2 k/d and get matched with actual good players.
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This was a good laugh. Thanks.
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Man that speech should became a Grimoire Card hahahaha
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My Guardians act pretty much the same after trying (many times not succeeding) to do Aksis challenge. Excellent interpretation of what goes on in our Guardian's heads after 5-8 hours of trying to complete challenge lol
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Yesterday I chanced an LFG group... We completed challenge mode on our first try! I felt like I had won the lottery or something.
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Impossible?Maybe you are shit,maybe your friends are shit,maybe the randoms you play with are shit.Nothing in this game is impossible.
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crota? you can solo that trash. grab somebody with a nighthawk and that challenge is a cake walk. templar? please. you learned how to block both teleports back in year 1. all your team has to do is sit back and press r2 until he's dead. atheon? c'mon, we've been 1 phasing him since good ole' forever 29. oryx? everybody knows the challenge mode is even [i]easier[/i] than the normal strat. aksis? can't carry your team through that one.
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No joke though it took me like 4 hours because we'd almost beat it then somebody would get impatient and leave then everybody would leave
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The only people that are flaming you are the ones that got lucky in LFG or have a raid team. The rest of us skilled players are fed up with the lack of skilled players and using LFG as a lottery to get a team to actually enjoy the raid ect. Im done wasting time.
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i really dont understand why people struggle with this! need 1 right, ok ill get cannon and be right there, not hard!
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Edited by Peter Cavey: 4/20/2017 9:34:43 AMTips to remember when do this challenge. 1. Always hang by the stairs when shooting shanks - Don't venture too close to the pillars as you will attract siva dust. 2. When going for the captain don't just run at him, run while jumping so to avoid his rockets then sword him. 3. practise cross map shooting - You should not need to leave your side for servertors. The trickiest is left on right or right on left. my tip is when cross mapping, wait for the glow of the servertor coming from behind the crate, count to 3 and shoot - Keep practising. 4. for left and right, stand exactly half way between aksis spawn and plate. Don't wait for someone to call out where he spawns, keep looking left and right constantly. if he doesnt spawn to you, go to your plate immediately - whether it's lit up or not (You need to get in the habit of doing this to avoid forgetting) 5. If you are running Warlock, avoid being mid if you can as it can be trickier than left and right (I'm sure your team won't mind swapping) - Also, make sure you are using self res with focussed burst 6. Cannon runner always swaps if both sides are empowered. I find it's best to kill one servertor and then switch to whetever side you need to be on, then kill the others 7. Take your time jumping to the pillars after damage phase, there is nothing more embarrassing than missing that platform. 8. Only talk when it's relevant. I know teams like to chat away during raids and thats fine, talk to your hearts content up and to the Aksis phase 2. From then on, the only things that should be said are: - Left / right aksis spawn during shank phase - Empowered call out - Empowered switch (if needed) - Servertor callout (location and burn) - in position (empowered only) - last bomb - Aksis switch side And most important... If you need to drop a cnnon, do not drop it near or on a plate. You don't want to accidentally pick up the cannon when going for the plate slam!!
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Ya -blam!- this challenge, only -blam!-ing challenge i need and nope i have great teams and this screw up extra chromosome queer, hmm any other challenge -blam!-ing done by 15 min this 6-7 hrs
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I had a guy in my fireteam earlier tell me he witnessed a kinderguardian titan smash the vent after he said "slam it". Ohhhh the innocence.
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Aksis challenge can be annoying, just run warpath or hezens for damage, make sure everyone runs Armor and Agility, so they can get to Aksis or supercharge spots in time without dying. Make sure you have tethers and weapons and you should kill aksis in 2 damage phases. At least, my team did.
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I only. answer raid posts with crazy restrictions... usually works out for the better.
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Inb4 Aksis gets nerfed to the ground.
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I got the joke. Still hard to believe that six months later people still struggle with being where they have to be and not having their head on a swivel.
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It's challenging but not impossible- last night was my teams first attempt and we got down the mechanics easier than I thought- like anything one mistake (which happens) dooms the challenge-
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It really is true. People only read the title, not the body of the post then comment. Bunch of ninnies
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This reminds me of those Smoggy is life posts
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Add #satire
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Edited by Spectrumrex: 4/20/2017 12:44:43 AMYour saying Aksis Challenge is impossible? Let me tell you - Xylar is the real thing to be afraid of. Bungie was so stupid to buff him in Age of Triumph. His three snake heads already one hit you anyway, what was the buff even for? Xylar rewards table isn't even that good. All you get is the "Fate of all Fools". Who really cares about that, right?
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Challenge is easy Cannon runners are switchers Don't drop cannons as the make you faster If you are empowered do NOT shoot boss focus on your location If he does not teleport to you go to square and hit x that way you don't have to think just go Easy peasy