Anyone still reading this?

Part 4 Mission 3 (are we keeping Story Missions obscenely short like in the first game? Smith, if you’re reading this, lemme know): A Day at the Beach Spuma PASSENGER: Oh man, I love the beach... Spuma GUNNER: I hope you packed a suit, mate! Spuma passenger: Nah, Darkhollow stuff doesn’t exactly like sand. Ghost: Cut the chatter... we got trouble. (As you negotiate the beach) Ikora (radio): Guardian... the ketch just launched a wave of pods. They're inbound on your position. (Fallen drop pods slam down on the beach all around you, and armed Captains spring from them) The Guardian backs up with a pair of duel-wielded Auto-Sidearms (now revealed as a feature in the game and new weapon class), before lighting a Fusion Grenade. Ghost: Betcha can’t stick it. Guardian: You’re on. And scene. (Then as you move into the highway tunnel) Ghost: I've been analyzing the Fallen and Cabal tactical chatter. They're surprised, confused... I don't think they expected us to be here. Not... you and me, all of us... humanity, on Earth. Wait, no, that can’t be right. ...Oh, you know what, I’m reading the Halo 2 transcript, give me a second here. Or however many seconds it is until the D2 trailer drops. At the time of writing, we’re an hour and 22 minutes away. Maybe that’ll explain more about the Cabal attack on the City. Otherwise we’ve written ourselves into an easily-edited corner. No, ok, they’re here with a big fleet. Zavala: And today, we know our enemy. His name is- Cayde: Gary! Or Gil- Glen? I don’t know, [i]SOMETHING WITH A G![/i] Zavala: Ghaul. LEVEL 05: "...We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Thunderlord" CHAPTER 01: "Ladies Like Heavy Weapons" CINEMATIC The Guardian strides over towards a couple of other Guardians. He steps over a Guardian sitting on the ground, out of breath from what must have been a recent firefight. A female Guardian briefs him on the current situation concerning a lumbering behemoth presently disappearing over the bridge, a Fallen/Cabal Walker. Falbal. Caballen. Caballen works. FEMALE Guardian: It blew right through us! Nova Mortis, Truth, didn't do a thing. At that moment, a Ketch Me If You Can flies by, and Cayde teleports to ground. Cayde: Where's the rest of your Fireteam? FEMALE Guardian: Wasted. Not a Sunsinger among them, and we’re on Hard. BREATHLESS Guardian: And we’ll be too dead, sir… or dead too, I can’t talk when I’m out of breath. We will too, if we don' t get the hell out of here! The Hunter sets a hand on the Guardian's shoulder. Cayde: You hit, Guardian? BREATHLESS Guardian: N-no, sir. Cayde: Good to hear. Now listen up! The Guardian is gonna take this here Gjallarhorn, roll across the bridge, and blow up any inhuman son-of-a-bitch dumb enough to get between him and Gerry! Now, get your big-boy pants on, 'cause you're goin' with him! FEMALE Guardian: What about that Walker? Cayde: We've all done Public Events; they're tough, but they ain't invincible against more than two or three high-level players. Wait, you guys are like level 3. ...Stay with the Guardian, he and/or she will know what to do. Ghost (directed towards the Guardian): Thanks for the ornament. He (or she) never gets me anything. Cayde hops into the passenger compartment of Ketch Me If You Can. Cayde: Oh, I know what the AIs like. You start out next to the Gjallarhorn, with the bridge stretching out in front of you. The burning skyline with the Fallen Ketch hovering over it is visible in the distance. Also a big number 2. The bridge is strewn with the wreckage of cars, trucks and buses. A multitude of Fallen Pikes patrol the bridge, as well as a smaller , ordinary Fallen Walker. About halfway across, ...Fallen Sabers swoop in for an attack from either side, and three Skiffs fly by, delivering troops and another Walker. A lone Guardian stationed on the bridge joins you and the other 2 Guardians. At the other end of the bridge, a group of Sabers flies in over the rooftops. Ghost: That's quite a welcome party. Though how they managed to gather a Fireteam larger than six… So unfair. A pack of Pikes skitters into view and opens up on your tank. They are soon joined by a pair of Walkers who come in from the nearby highway tunnel, as well as another pair of Sabres. You blow up everything on the bridge and at the end enter the highway tunnel meeting little resistance until you come to a barrier. A Guardian approaches you. It’s Ikora and she offers you a shotgun. Ikora: It's tight quarters on the other side, Guardian. Use this. Ghost: An Invective. Nice! You enter a series of sewage tunnels that open out into a massive courtyard. CHAPTER 02 or whatever we’re on now: "This Town Ain't Big Enough For Both Of Us" The Caballen Walker can be seen in the distance, although it leaves quickly. A Spuma pulls up to you. Xur: Could use you on the gun, Guardian! Xur drives you into another courtyard, where a few Pikes, a pair of Vandal snipers, a veteran Captain, and a Walker guard the tunnel at the far end. Ghost: Uh, this may be a bad time, but what exactly are you doing in the middle of a heated firefight? Xur: Fancied a change from the role of mysterious, Cthulhu-esque merchant. Yeehaw, you see that Walker explode?! Another pair of Pikes enters the fray, and once they're dead, Xur drives you into a large room with a waterfall, and then out into the streets of the City. You come upon a Vanguard outpost. You are greeted by a hunched, green-clad Fallen at the entrance. Variks: Guardian! Pleasant to see you, yeeeees. Ghost: Who's in charge here, Variks? Variks: Petra. I will take you to her now. He leads you up the heavily guarded stairs to a balcony overlooking the streets. A huge Arc beam can be seen firing at something in the distance, and the Caballen Walker lumbers into view. CHAPTER 03: "Field Expedient" Petra Venj: When I asked for reinforcements, I didn’t think they’d send a kinderguardian. Seriously, you said on LFG you were at least level 5. We got trouble! The Walker demolishes a Sheila tank that was dropped in earlier, then it starts walking toward the base. Random Guardian: See this look?! It's terror!! Petra: Guardian, did I give you permission to bitch?! I don't think it's stopping; get your heads down! (The Scarab walks right over your position) That thing is really starting to PISS ME OFF! Not you, Rahool. Guardians, time to kill us a Walker! You enter a large warehouse in pursuit of the Walker. You end up on a series of walkways above a large water-filled canal, and the Walker is, uh, walking below you, while Caballen troops fire at you from the deck. The Walker reaches the end of the canal, and can go no further. Ghost: It can't go any further this way. We have it trapped. You enter the Walker, which sounds kinda sexual, to find a shitload of bad guys. Ghost (After killing the Reaver Captain): Careful Guardian, that was a Reaver Captain that you now no longer have to worry about, and those pilots are no pushovers either. ...Ok, now we have to go outside, kneecap it, and every time we do, shoot its brains. You got Three of Coins on? The Walker explodes as the Guardian watches expectantly. It produces two blues. Cayde (In the KMIYC cockpit): That's right, you sons of bitches! Run! Ghost: Not if we can help it. Ikora: Extract the Guardian and return to In Violet Clad. As I did after giving them Invective, in case you couldn’t tell. Cayde: I’m on it! Zavala (On display screen on In Violet Clad): Status? Ikora: Commander, Ghaul is bugging out! Request permission to engage! Zavala: Negative, Ikora. I'll send something a little bigger his way. The Caballen ship begins to accelerate. NAV OFFICER: Ma'am, Vexspace rupture off the target's bow! It's going to jump, inside the city! Ikora: There's no time, sir! And no time to explain why there’s no time! Zavala: Greenlight! Greenlight to engage! KMIYC docks inside In Violet Clad. Ikora: Left trigger! Get us close! NAV OFFICER: Ma'am, without a destination solution- Ikora: We are NOT losing that ship! The ship enters Vexspace, causing a massive white explosion that engulfs an awful lot of the City but leaves the Traveller untouched, though still burning, and stops just short of what most may assume will be the first social space of this new game, some sort of forest clearing, where Zavala is in the reveal trailer. END CINEMATIC

Ahhh good old halo 2

Got it after the first line. This is fantastic. Thank you for this

I love it!!

Gameplay begins for Mission 1: Cairo ....Ship Some things happen. (Another ship detonates and spins apart, just like the Malteaser ship before you know the one) Zavala (radio): Ghost, assessment! Ghostana (radio): I didn’t think they’d leave the ships intact, I- oh, bombs. It’s covered in bombs. Zavala (radio): Then they sure as hell brought one here. Guardian, find it. (As you return to the armory, to find Banshee fighting a pair of Captains) Banshee: Get the hell out of my armory, plenty-arms- (Banshee is hit and becomes Banshee-45. Buuuuut not before a lengthy reboot which incapacitates him for the rest of the game) MOAR THINGS HAPPEN Ghost (radio): Sir, boarders have breached the fire control center. They have a bomb. Zavala (radio): Can you defuse it? Ghost (radio): Yes, but I'll need the Guardian's help to make contact with the detonator. Guardian: Can’t you just… fly up to it and zap it like you always do? Ghost (radio): Surrounded by Fallen and Cabal? Guardian: You always seem to do fine with it. Ghost: After you- wait, I was on the radio. (Kch) After you got rid of all the things trying to kill us. After that, it’s a piece of cake. But this is a bomb. One wrong move and we’re all blown to spacedom come. And it tends to be under pressure from aliens that I am most prone to wrong moves. Zavala: Well… alright, then. Guardian, get to the bomb, double time! Ghost, prioritize targets and fire at will. Ghost (radio): Just so you know, there are quite a few Fallen and Cabal guarding the bomb. You may need to get creative. Betcha can’t stick it. Guardian: You’re wrong. Ghost: And the dozen Halo fans reading this just lost their minds in anger. (Once you clear the room) CINEMATIC Ghost appears on a pedestal near the bomb. Ghost: Here and hold Square or X or whatever it’ll be on PC, now. The Guardian steps over to the bomb, and holds out the Ghost. The Ghost swishes from their hand and disappears, reappearing literally several centimetres away before zapping the bomb display. It blinks and shuts off. Guardian: How much time was left? Ghost: Let me put it this way: if you were doing it with your reflexes and ability to concentrate under pressure, we’d all be dead by now. The bomb display flashes 30 minutes. Ikora (radio): Commander, this is In Violet Clad. The largest ketch's shield is down. I'm in position and ready for immediate assault. Zavala: Negative, Ikora. Not against a ship that size. Not on your own. Ghost: She could try matchmaking. ...Oh wait, the largest activities aren’t matchmade. Maybe they are in this sequel. Maybe... Guardian (radio): Sir. Permission to leave the station? Zavala: For what purpose, Guardian? MASTER CHIEF (radio): To give the Covenant back their bomb. Zavala: What is the Covenant? Sounds like some Hive music band. Ghost: Probably meant the Fallen and Cabal. And didn’t want to touch dat line. Zavala: And who is this… Master Chief? *shakes head* Permission granted. In the bay, the Guardian grabs the bomb and hauls it across the floor, leaving a trail of sparks. He drags it into the elevator, and descends. Ghost: I know what you're thinking, and it's crazy. Guardian: So, stay here. Ghost: Unfortunately for us both, I like crazy. Maybe not rampant, though. The elevator reaches an Aurora Lance launch bay, and the Guardian steps out, watching through the huge bay door. The entire fleet streams down toward Earth, chasing the enemy ships, and exchanges of fire flicker through space. The Guardian steps up to the door's release handle, which drops down above him. Ghost: Just one question. What if you miss? Guardian: Then we’re -blam!-ed. The Guardian pulls down the handle and the bay doors cycle open, the bay decompressing rapidly. Debris lifts off the floor and hurtles into space, and the bomb slowly begins to slide toward the doors. The Guardian grabs hold of it as it passes, and is pulled out into space. In free-fall, the Chief descends towards central Asia. The second Fallen ketch passes below his position. A pair of Aurora Lance fighters dives past him, no doubt vectored in by the Ghost, and make a strafing run on the Fallen carrier. Their bombs make a stacatto beat of fire along the back of the carrier, and the Chief slips through the narrow gap the blasts have created into- The carrier's center is a huge, open chamber, a massive fusion core casting white light across its inner surface. The carrier has taken a lot of abuse; the far side of the chamber is torn apart, revealing Earth outside. The Guardian crawls up the bomb, presses its activation panel, and spins around. His legs flex, and he blinks or glides off the bomb, aiming for the split in the carrier's armor. Wait, no, just glides. There’s no physical force in blinking. He plummets from the carrier, straight for Earth, as behind him minor blue explosions flicker up and down the Fallen ship. A pause, and the entire ship detonates in a huge plasma conflagration. The Guardian falls towards Asia, and a human frigate passes beneath him, matching trajectories. Inside In Violet Clad's bridge, Cayde and Ikora watch a tactical display. A thud resounds through the ship; the Guardian has hit his mark. SGT. JOHNSON: For a brick, he flew pretty good! Cayde: Johnson? Avery Johnson?! Holy hell, man, what’s up? It’s been too long! Ikora: (rolls eyes) Guardian, get inside, gear up. We're taking this fight to the surface. In Violet Clad banks hard and dives towards the Earth's atmosphere, and a massive, gray city - fan speculation says we’re pretty sure it’s in central Asia at this point - comes into view.

This was hilarious, thank you

Ikora: "Thanks for the ornament, [b]he[/b] never gets me anything" Zavala: ... Cayde: "Oh I know what the ladies like"

Our raggedy a$$ fleet hooray-dead orbit

Banshees first words had me like: "Ohhh okay"

Did anyone else do the voices when they read this?

Halo it is.

I honestly thought it was gonna be more like this... http://orig06.deviantart.net/8e56/f/2010/153/a/f/crayon_writing_by_weeman2525.png

Was it weird that I was just expecting someone to post the Bee Movie script?

Gonna go to this cutscenes in halo, and read this new script along with it

Dejá vú critical.

Yessss