Dear ACME Labs (c/o Bungie Studios), I was very impressed with the sales presentation given by your sales person, Wiley Coyote, but I should have taken note of his demonstration videos where his wares were not able to capture one flightless bird. Unfortunately, I was taken in with his smooth sales pitch. I have taken possession of the ACME Self Replicating Easy Place Tripmine. In theory, the product is solid, but in practice... well... I should have paid more attention to the videos. The Easy Place Tripmines do easily stick to surfaces (except body armor, for some odd reason), but will often align incorrectly with the mounting surface leading to frequent situations where the mine will not be triggered or at the very least provide a less than optimal explosion. The sales person also assured me that the tripmine would be excellent at killing off any vermin that I might have a problem with, including Warlocks. Unfortunately, by itself, the tripmine rarely proves to be fatal, even if the nuisance receives a full blast. And lastly, the triggering on the tripmine is slow. I distinctly remember a Warlock running in, standing in front of the mine while pecking at some special ammo, the mine triggered and beeped, then the Warlock went "Beep! Beep!" then a *pthpt* sound, and it zoomed off in a dust cloud before the tripmine went off. I am returning the tripmines and I would like to apply the refund to the new Hunter Sling-O-Matic your sales person tells me you will have available soon. It looks like an innovative combination of a giant sling shot and rollerskates, too finally allow me to catch skating Titans. Sincerely, Elmer J. Fudd, Hunter [EDIT: Also, next April Fools, could you replace all the in game sounds with Looney Tunes-esque sound effects?] [EDIT REDUX: Please note, this is written as a piece of humor. This is not a request for buffs or nerfs. Please enjoy this for what it was meant to be, a little bit of a chuckle. The title has been updated to reflect that.]