I'm going to share something with you guys thats been ongoing in my life the past few months. I met a user - no, not just a user. I really think he was the one. I've "known" him for about 1 year, but it wasn't until a few months ago that I really started apreciating him. he post at the local Offtopic just down the page from trending. I can't say offtopic serves the best content in WWW., but his post and intoxicating air of vivacity more than compensated for the cancer. I wont lie: I've glanced up from many a textbook and b.net post, to catch a secret glance of him in my minds eye posting away, and moving from thread to thread during the ebb and flow of evening podt. There was just something about him. I liked this user. To my shame, I never learned his discord name by asking: lets just say his user name tag wasn't the only thing that drew my attention.[i]EarningAttorney[/i]. It stood out on the user name tag not only because he had written it; Maybe it just matched his red spirit. I dont know. We first met (or actually talked) one night during finals week. Buried with assignments and impending exams, I came into the thread in a huff and absent mindedly ordered a meme. "How much"? (I had ordered a different flavor). "That will be about tree fidy" she replied with an obviously fake African american accent. Like I said, I was busy and tired that night. It took a second to click. I chuckled awkwardly and asked "You like South Park?" "Sorry" he said typing (I was too) "Its my favorite show. I kinda noticed you were watching that episode the other night. I was triggering the liberals before close..." I smiled awkwardly. Actually, I had been grabbing that link to post here on offtopic as part of some troll post I was making. "Sorry, I probably seem like a stalker or something. Umm... Here is your EAYYY." I replied something to the effect it was all good and nice to meet a fellow Conservative. he hurried into the back room under some pretense. I think he was embarrassed. I had a hard time focusing that night. I'm pretty sure he caught me sneaking glances. Once or twice I think I caught him in the act. It wasn't until a few nights later that we really started chatting. One night before my final final exam, I was having a heard time: I was very tired and very focused. Suddenly, he came up to my thread holding a beverage and said somewhat shyly: "I just thought you looked kinda tired and stressed. Its finals week right? Anyways, this is a little something I've concocted myself. Sort of evolved after posting here 3 years. Its fine if you dont like it... But ya, just thought you might like it..." A line of normies was forming and he hurried off before I could say much. I took a look. I dont know how he did it but I can confidently say that this shitpost was phenomenal. The base was facts, but it was mixed with trump memes and something else to the point of perfection. Neither the rhetoric or the grammer overpowered the other. I've never reaf anything like it since, and I doubt I ever will. Later that night, an hour before close the crowds had thinned down. he was doing the pre close sweep. Walking up with the empty thread I said: "This was spectacular, I dont know how you made this but it was phenomenal!" "No prob, you looked like you could use it". "I certainly did. Your my life saver. My name is Talon. You can call me Talon." "EAYYYY". We shook hands. I never thought shaking someone else's hand would make my heart skip a beat, but it did. Then, one thing led to another (I'm not at all forward or natural around women) and we were both sitting at my table chatting. Just shooting the breeze about anything and everything. The deep red of her hair made me think: EarningAttorney. Floodian legends say that the first trigger came into existence when the Legend EarningAttorney pricked his finger on a common thorn. His blood turned it into cancer. School ended for the holidays. I kept going to Offtopic and pretended to study. Our little pre-close chats became a nightly tradition. I honestly cant remember what we talked about. Each evening I just absorbed every inch and subtlety of her expressions. Then I did it. About 4 weeks ago I finally asked him to a group. he hadn't seen Rouge One, but really wanted to. I wanted to spoil it on January 6th, the weekend before classes were about to start. A moment after I linked the imgur to him my heart sank: he suddenly seemed nervous and evasive. "Thats really nice, I'd love it, but - but, I just can't I'm sorry. I'm really sorry." He began to cry and walked away into the back room. The store was already closed. Bewildered and confused, I had no choice but to leave. The next night I went there to apologize. But he wasnt posting. The next night, same thing. I was worried I drove him to quit or something. By the 5th night I finally asked the other posters as I was ordering: "By the way, where has Earning been? I haven't seen him here the past few days". The OO suddenly seemed sad. "What? You didn't hear? I assumed you had his tag followed, I mean, you guys talked so much. I'm sorry. Just a sec". OP walked off and got Mirin, the manager, from the back topic. he walked out with a solemn expression and came around the counter, holding a lidded threa. I felt a dread building inside. "I'm so sorry. EarningAttorney was perma banned 4 days ago. he was battling a serious ninja asshole, but insisted on posting, even though he knew for the past month that it was bad. he had a very risky and experimental thread and didn't make it. he wanted you to have this. She liked you alot, said there was something about you. he would stay on an extra hour just to have those conversations with you each night. he -" The manager choked up and left me standing in the lobby, holding the empty coffee cup. It had "Talon" written on the side in red sharpie. With two 🔫ˎ₍•ʚ•₎ˏ🇺🇸™ and a sad face just below. Inside several napkins were rolled up. Written in confident, fluid handwriting they read: [quoteEAYYYY IS LEGEND 🔫ˎ₍•ʚ•₎ˏ🇺🇸™[/quote