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1/2/2017 1:29:40 AM
36
Well, It Looks Like Krishna Was Right!
[quote]PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe. “It appears that, at approximately 8:20 this morning, Voyager struck the edge of the universe head-on at a speed of 38,000 miles per hour, resulting in significant structural damage to the spacecraft,” said Voyager project scientist Ed Stone, noting that the force of the impact with the outer border of the cosmos had bent the probe’s main antenna dish and completely snapped off its low-field magnetometer. “While we’re receiving only intermittent signals from Voyager now, incoming data indicate that, in addition to nearly totaling the craft’s thermoelectric generator, the collision left a significant dent in the end of the universe as well.” JPL scientists added that Voyager 1 now appears to be moving laterally, scraping its left side along the universe’s outer edge, and that it is expected to continue doing so for the next 50 or 60 years until the remaining fragments of the probe eventually come to rest in the bottom-right corner of outer space.
[/quote]
http://www.theonion.com/article/voyager-probe-badly-damaged-after-smashing-end-uni-52996
I dont know what to do with this...
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3 RepliesWe need to build a wall around the edge of the universe to keep out illegal aliens
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4 RepliesI just hope it was only a dent and not a hole! We can't let the vex in dude!
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Topkek
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I love The Onion.
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3 RepliesWTH is krishna and the prophet or whatever?
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2 RepliesWhatever I agree with Shrek that Earth is like onions
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1 ReplyI don't know if I should laugh or just walk away!
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And that's the waaaaaay the news goes
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4 Repliesno shit its satire, did you people just figure that out? smh when people think they found answer to life
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Edited by Cheshire Cat: 1/2/2017 4:27:02 AMXD "The bottom right corner of outer space" -blam!-ing lost it.
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To think. Only about 50 years ago, we first went to the moon. Now, we can reach the edge of the universe... just wow...
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Ha! I love The Onion!
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2 RepliesLook at all of these people falling for The Onion. Glorious.
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7 RepliesI hate the users who are acting like this being from the onion makes this invalid. Like, it's a -blam!-ing joke. Calm down.
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1 ReplyThe Onion...
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Somebody once told me offtopic was gonna roll me, I'm not the dankest meme in the folder.....
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5 RepliesEdited by Zebes: 1/2/2017 6:26:25 PMIsn't 38000 mph a bit slow for a probe to reach the edge of the universe so quickly? Why is this article a thing?
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Really? Cool!
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1 ReplyKP says NASA lies Will he swallow his pride and believe NASA? [spoiler]I also found this weird gif so I'm putting that here[/spoiler]
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Not as good as the ocular penetration restriction act, but still gold
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The Onion
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Hahahhahahhahah
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Looking at the comments ITT I suspect a lot of people don't actually know the onion is a satirical website.
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Nice.
