Hello to everyone under the sun and welcome to tower today, A reinvented version of "Murdiusmaximus" Unofficial updates. Since his absence I have decided to take upon myself to deliver upon to you these weekly updates in his stead and even after he returns I will continue and finish the work.
Alright, now lets get down to business, this weeks star is not a returning one (Lets not speak of that disgusting incident last week with Oryx... I'm still getting nightmares.) In fact is one that was happy to do an interview with me, in exchange of course for the blueprints for the wolf pack rounds. Since we know its in bannerfall, I infiltrated and stol- I mean acquired it for our star. Now without further adieu, I present this weeks star, Lakshmi from future war cult!
[b]Lakshmi, So nice to have you here this week![/b]
Oh um, yes feels great to be here... ~Lakshmi looks around nervously~
[b]You okay there? You seem...anxious..[/b]
Yes, Of course, say you don't happen to have a bathroom do you? You do? Great, I gotta pee.
~Lakshmi sprints out~
[b]Wait but robots can't pee! ... Can they? Ugh, whatever, I'll just wait.[/b]
~45 Minutes pass~
[b]Okay really? Where did she go? Brent! Have you seen...yes...where did she?...Seriously!?...She did what!?...Diplomatic immunity? They bought that? Ugh... Okay folks, so turns out Lakshmi took my blueprint for the gjallarhorns wolfpack rounds for some reason, ran out of the building, stole my car, crashed it into the intersection outside and caused a pile up...weird I didn't hear any of it. She supposedly has diplomatic immunity and can...get out of that... Not to worry though! I have another...star..where...ah okay![/b]
~Veneficus Ignis opens the door letting a shank float in~
[b]Okay everyone so, since Lakshmi bailed I prepared a formal back up! Everyone? Hank the shank! Hank how are you?[/b]
¡Hola a todos! Estoy hank la caña!
(Hello everyone! I'm hank the shank!)
[b]Oh...lovely...a Spanish speaking shank...great, there goes my career.[/b]
Ese es el hombre hiriente ... ¿Sabes lo genial que es estar en alguna parte sin alguien que quiera matarme? Es un tipo raro
(Thats hurtful man... Do you even know how cool it is to be somewhere without someone wanting to kill me? Its rare dude)
[b]Oh...so shanks are made in a factory in old mexico...fascinating, Well. What exactly do you do hank?[/b]
Sí, estamos hechos en México, como la ropa que usa tu gorda madre.
(Yes, we're made in mexico, like the clothes your fat mother wears.)
[b]Uh huh... that's awesome, you lead the shanks in the cosmodrome, great to hear I picked a high ranking officer![/b]
Mi color es azul ... ¿No puedes ver eso? Soy un general en el ejército de los Sabres en la casa de invierno. Pero como no puedes entender lo que estoy diciendo, podría estar diciendo lo cerca que estamos de derribar las paredes alrededor de tu ciudad y pensarías que estaría hablando de gatos.
(My color is blue... Can you not see that? I'm an up and coming general in Sabers army in the winter house. But since you can't understand what I'm saying, I could just be telling you how close we are to taking down the walls around your city and you'd think I'd be talking about cats.)
[b]Oh that's wonderful how much you love cats in general![/b]
Exactamente. Es por eso que hemos podido reducir la vanguardia a una sola ciudad. Todos ustedes son idiotas que no hacen otra cosa que mirar libros y mapas todo el día. ¿Quieres saber cómo lo sabemos? Nos flotan fuera de las ventanas de la torre y ver a todos, pero todo lo que hacen es poner en desfiles de moda ...
(Exactly. This is why we were able to reduce the vanguard down to one city. You're all idiots who do nothing but look at books and maps all day. Wanna know how we know? We float outside the tower windows and watch you all, but all you guys do is put on fashion shows...)
[b]That's amazing, I never knew how great it was being in the fallen army...the dregs beg to differ I guess. Tell me though, who inspired you to be who you are Hank?[/b]
Es un cuento largo. No todo es grande en el ejército caído Veneficus, cuando me acabaron de hacer, me tomaron para ser un colector de la deficiencia en la casa de baños de inviernos. Pero eso es cuando lo vi, Saber cuatro, el señor de elite de los shanks ... Me miró, yo estaba lleno de tanta alegría. Pero de nuevo, ¿por qué estoy diciendo esto? Estoy apostando ahora que piensas que dije algo sobre una tortuga.
(That, Is a long tale. Not all is great in the fallen army Veneficus, when I was just made, I was taken to be a defecation collector in the house of winters restrooms. But thats when I saw him, Saber four, the elite overlord of shanks... He looked at me, I was filled with so much joy. But again, why am i saying this? I'm betting right now you're thinking I said something about a turtle)
[b]That's interesting, So you guys are actually fun loving beings who wish to bring turtles back to the world?[/b]
Esto es tan triste...
(This is so sad...)
[b]So you guys really aren't a threat? You guys are just holding your ground... I can respect that, but we need to rebuild earth...[/b]
Podemos literalmente bombardear la torre y saquearla en cualquier momento, pero nuestro brillante sable líder quiere que esperemos hasta que la cábala lo distraiga todo el próximo año en el próximo juego ... ¿después de eso? Controlaremos todo lo que tenga ...
(We can literally nuke the tower and pillage it at any moment, but our brilliant leader saber wants us to wait until the cabal distracts you all next year in the next game...after that? We will control everything you have...)
[b]Well I'm sorry hank... I know the fallen have no where to go...[/b]
Controlamos seis planetas enteramente ... Todos ustedes están peleando demasiado, porque cada uno que cae mata tenemos cinco más hechos en su lugar ... es sólo una cuestión de tiempo.
(We control six planets entirely... You all are just fighting back too much, for each fallen you kill we have five more made in its place...its only a matter of time.)
[b]Okay hank well I believe that's all we have time for today. Tell me though, what one thing in destiny would you change to make it better?[/b]
Para que deje de respirar, Durante los últimos quince minutos parece que he hablado con un caracol extranjero
(For you to stop breathing, For the last fifteen minutes it feels like I've talked to a foreign snail)
[b]Um, okay, pinball machines for your ketches? I'll look into it for you.[/b]
Eres la persona menos inteligente que he conocido desde el orador.
(You are the least intelligent person I've met since the speaker.)
[b]Alrighty, thanks for stopping by![/b]
And there you have it folks, the wise words of the fallen hank the shank, see? The fallen aren't really bad!
Alright for destiny news we are still currently awaiting for SRL and its release date, as it is though, some believe its next week due to the typical tin foil hat theories over their uninformative update. They took the terms "Speed up" and "Keep up" and are looking into finding out the SRL release date but are having no luck since bungie loves to keep their ego in their update and not actual news. Moving along, destiny is in a content drought, as reported by Rickhakis, and moreconsole themselves as they scramble for things to make in destiny content wise or even finding reason to log on. 2 months? was it? Yeah. Moving on though, we all know there are 2 major panel coming up, one for general gaming and one for PSN glorification so we shall see if they can make it up to their community and hype them up for a release date for SRL and possibly even Destiny: II teasers. I'm guessing we'll have to see!
[b]Hello everyone, Brent miks here for your normal video of the week and ours comes from a channel "Ihateeverything" and is an actual and in depth look into the rise of iron expansion, yes it is bias and if you cannot stomach it, skip the video and let Veneficus fill you in on the other games news here in Tower Today.[/b]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqoWNwke660&t=1038s
Thank you Brent.
In warframe news, the Index arena preview event is now over sadly, meaning good flows for credits are now harder to find. Currently Valkyr prime access is available, yes the crazy cat lady frame is in the loot pool and her and her weaponry are quite the weird bunch. First off half of her parts are in the Rare slots in relics and she came with...sigh...a cernos prime bow. Why cernos this reporter asks? Seriously... why? There's 4 impact bows in the game now that all get outshun by its syndicate duplicate, but I digress as it is used slightly for its unique 3 for 1 charge shot. The venka prime was released and was not given a proper primed form as 2 prime releases in a row have released weaponry that reaches 100+ base damage without mods and Venka was put in the corner with 55 base damage... The community is 50/50 on this release due to their longing for the heavily anticipated banshee prime, but we will have to wait 3 months for her. Sad to see banshee get put into the runner up slot.
In halo news, currently the anniversary event is done, and all that remains is the anniversary throwback playlist and their community is awaiting a proper update. More to go on for next week, while we wait patiently on news for halo wars 2.
Happy thanksgiving to you all, I hope you all had a wonderful turkey day and stuffed yourselves with the finest of goodies, me? I enjoyed a great Cornish game hen buttered, garlic'd and covered in oregano with my family. Thank you all for reading.
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Nice. Am I the only one who reads these?