JavaScript is required to use Bungie.net

#Community

Edited by SoulCatcher1214: 11/3/2016 6:45:57 PM
5

The Sun's Journey (Part One: Chapter IX) - A Destiny Fiction

[quote]Chapter VIII: https://www.bungie.net/en/Forums/Post/208376583?page=0&sort=0&showBanned=0&path=1 I'm back, my fellow Guardians! I was on a very long hiatus there. School started and other things happened, but no longer! I have gained inspiration once more since [i]Rise of Iron[/i] has come out. The journey of Sol, Vaughn, and Enigma shall continue! Huzzah! Have a great day/afternoon/evening/night, Guardians![/quote] [u][b]Chapter IX[/b][/u] Sol readies them for a match in Clash; Cyclops had joined up on their fireteam after the last round of Rift. She listens to Vaughn and Enigma talk over the comms in excited voices like little kids on Christmas day. “Did you see that headshot I got?! That warlock had no idea what happened!” Vaughn laughs. Enigma responds with, “Did you see me run those Sparks? The team was actually cheering for me near the end! Plus, I didn’t have to kill anyone. I just had to run.” Vaughn chuckles, “Dude, I think they were cheering because you ignited the Rift not because you were running it.” Enigma ignores this comment and continues talking, “And we also got to work alongside Cyclops! That was amazing!” “Yeah. I have to admit that it was pretty funny seeing the enemy running away from him on more than one occasion. Yet it was scary seeing all of his kills go across the screen seeing as how he lives in the same home as us.” “Right. That is a little scary to think about.” Sol kept her comms off the entire conversation and chuckles. Xavier looks at her, “What’s so funny?” “Them,” she nods to the comm speaker. “How so?” “They’re terrified of Cyclops because of the rumors that fly about the Tower. Enigma continues to get happy that he hasn’t killed anyone or anything. And Vaughn is so blunt with his friend.” “I...do not see how that’s funny.” Sol sighs, “You don’t need to.” Her attention returns to the screen her Ghost has up that shows their competition. The Waning Star readies for lightspeed then bursts off, heading for Mars again. Vaughn and Enigma go silent as their ships follow suit. The ships drop off the separate teams and Cyclops holds the Alpha team flag. Shaxx’s voice sounds over their comms. A sound of a starting bell rings through the air and the teams scurry away from the starting point. Sol remembers this map from previous matches and turns on her comms, “Vaughn, Enigma, follow me. I know this map.” The two look at each other, but decide to follow her anyways. She leads them through a portal, which takes them to an island away from the main part of the map. They ready their guns while Sol pulls out her sniper. “You two watch those portals. I got this way,” she informs them and hops up onto the ledge. Sol crouches and aims down the sights of the 1000-Yard Stare. Her eyes spot some members of the enemy team and she quickly fires upon one of them, killing them. The remaining enemies panic and get behind cover while also protecting themselves from the rest of Alpha team. During this time, she reloads while watching her environment. Sol looks behind her as she hears Vaughn firing and spots Enigma cowering behind a dying tree, refusing to fight. [i]Ugh…[/i] Hopping down to help Vaughn, she switches to her Red Death. In those few seconds, the downed Guardian had respawned and come after her. The Guardian, a hunter, flew through the air and tackled Sol as he landed. The air is knocked from her lungs as the Red Death comes free from her grasp and the hunter pins her down upon her stomach. Sol can feel anger filling her when the weight is suddenly gone from her back. Looking up, she sees Vaughn had killed the hunter with his void bow. She tensely nods thanks to him. Vaughn nods back. Sol gets to her feet and grabs her gun. She fires at a guardian that came through one of the portals. Enigma continues to cower behind some old tree; a thud can be heard as Cyclops joins them over on the island. Shaxx’s voice can be heard announcing that heavy ammo is on its way. As if on cue, the enemy team swarms the island. Something in Sol’s mind goes off as she's being surrounded and under pressure causing her mind to go blank and her actions turn murderous. She catches aflame and throws a grenade that hits the ground then becomes a small sun, burning any enemies that walk through it. For some reason, this fire keeps the Ghosts from reviving their downed Guardians. At this moment, her other teammates come over to the island for more heavy ammo. Her rage filled blue eyes train on them through her tinted helm. She lunges forth and plunges the blade on the Red Death right into the heart of a teammate. The Guardian looks at her in horror and her teammates freeze at this sight. Ripping the blade from the Guardian’s chest, she stands up straight and the flames from her super swirl about her robes. She throws another grenade at her frozen group of teammates. Their screams are quickly silenced as the miniature sun engulfs them. Suddenly, she's gripped from behind and her gun drops to the ground; his armor protects him from the solar damage coming off of Sol. Her arms become pinned to her sides and Cyclops’s strong grip stops her from going anywhere. Sol thrashes about in his arms and shouts out a chain of curses. The flames about Sol soon die out and she goes limp in the silent titan’s arms. She awakens and looks about to see the carnage. Sol can feel tears condensing in her eyes as her heart clenches. Vaughn and Enigma walk forward and stand on either side of Cyclops as they look at the death. Enigma is the first to break the silence, “You...slaughtered them.” His voice is no higher than a whisper. Vaughn rubs the back of his neck. “This is not...awesome,” his usual upbeat tone is now serious. He turns his gaze to Sol. “You need to get this...problem of yours checked out. You're killing fellow Guardians! It was fine when it was minions of the Darkness, but...not now.” Sol and Xavier both remember the promise they made when this first occurred a week ago. Sol sighs and hangs her head, “I know. I'll try to search for help when we get back to the Tower.” Her gaze looks down at the charred corpses and her stomach turns. [i]I make myself sick. [/i] “No. You [i]will[/i] search for help. You won't just try,” Enigma lectures the fellow warlock. Cyclops only releases Sol when their Ghosts take them back to orbit and they all head for the Tower, hoping to find help for the Sunsinger. [quote]Chapter X: ???? [b]Note:[/b] After 10, I will be going back to each chapter so far and doing small tweaks to them. Then I will be continuing on. I have figured out a format that I like and works better for me. You can see the change of format in this chapter.[/quote]

Posting in language:

 

Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

  • It's been a long time my friend...

    Posting in language:

     

    Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

    1 Reply
    • Please post this stuff in the gallery section with all the other fanfics.

      Posting in language:

       

      Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

      2 Replies
      • Edited by Milk: 11/3/2016 6:30:39 PM
        Avoid using colloquialisms in your writing, I'm pretty sure I've never heard a guardian in universe use the term "dude" or describe their actions as "awesome". Also I'm not entirely sure about the guardians sudden blood rage or her ability to prevent guardians from respawning, especially in the crucible. Also you may want to work on your dialogue, it seems a touch wooden, like I'm reading a script. And given the amount of guardians there are on a team you could have gotten a bit more intimate with your descriptions. If you're going to describe a grisly scene of murder then be prepared to go all the way. I don't feel shock or horror, and your duty as a writer is to make me feel that. Also is Cyclops an exo, I find it hard to believed that he's a human. Also I'm fairly certain that ghost pulling up stats us a game exclusive thing, since it would be weird to have a tool like that in universe.

        Posting in language:

         

        Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

        1 Reply
        • this post is probobly the most cringy thing i have ever seen in my life

          Posting in language:

           

          Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

          1 Reply
          • Edited by Brandon: 11/3/2016 5:02:06 PM
            It might be just me,but I feel like something is wrong with the way this is written. Reads like a script for a reality TV show,or stage directions. I think the tenses are misused.

            Posting in language:

             

            Play nice. Take a minute to review our Code of Conduct before submitting your post. Cancel Edit Create Fireteam Post

            1 Reply
            You are not allowed to view this content.
            ;
            preload icon
            preload icon
            preload icon