My husband and I play Destiny very regularly together, and, obviously, we are in the same house using the same internet connection. We CONSTANTLY receive the "unable to join target player" error message, and from looking around here we are not the only ones. It has nothing to do with our internet connection as my husband works in IT and can verify that everything is working as it should, not to mention we play several other multiplayer games together that have ZERO issues (Overwatch, PvZ, Battlefront, Titanfall, Halo - literally NONE of these have problems with us playing in the same lobby/fireteam). Destiny is the only game to give us this error, and it happens literally EVERY time we boot up the game. The only way we get around it is waiting it out, and trying over and over again until we want to rip our hair out. This is ridiculous and I want Bungie to fix this. This error never popped up for us until Rise of Iron. I understand nothing anyone in the forums can say will help as it is clearly Bungie's error, I'm just hoping that if enough people make it known that this is still an issue that they will get more eyes on it and correct it.
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It's definitely not you or your connection. It's Destiny. It's ridiculous that it's been over a month since Rise of Iron's launch (which caused the issue in the first place) and we've gotten nothing but a 'Yep. It's a problem we're aware of.' Being completely unable to play with friends in the same house save for seemingly random flukes where the stars align and it lets people join each other is insane.