Dear diary, today is the day!
I'm so excited about my sweet SIVA upgrades! My body is wrapped in red licorice strings and I can [i]feel[/i] the power of those SIVA nanomites. I bask in the glow of my new void shields. My squad mates Aksis Hollywood and TAN-X just got their upgrades too. I love Archon's Forge.
Life is good.
I'm ready to take on the Plaguelands, the Cosmodrome, and the Last City. Me and my boys are loaded up in the perfection chamber. I hear commotion outside; shanks exploding, alarms alarming, guns firing. I got this. We got this. I nod to Aksis Hollywood and he give me four thumbs up. TAN-X tops off his ammo and shoulder shrugs.
The chamber is cracking open. Blazing solar light comes pouring in. We gonna kill those Guardians so bad!
Through the crack comes a shadowshot. The chamber opens a little more and three Guardians drop down with flaming axes and slap us across the faces. Our yellow bars fry like bacon. In 0.05 seconds it is all over. We are deader than Rusted Lands Golden Age delicacy Fried Chicken. I sigh as I see a green and blue engram poop out my broken vessel of a body, still bathed in flame.
How did it come to this? I thought I was ready.
This was my life. I had hoped for more.
I shed a tear for the cosmos and for my killers, for they can never know eternal peace. All they know is...
[spoiler][i]THE GRIND[/i][/spoiler]
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0.05 seconds looooooool