Hello there ladies and gentlemen of #offtopic!
In this average shit post, we discuss who would win the battle of the ages.
Tl;dr at bottom.
Let's introduce our contestants:
Harambe
[spoiler]On May 28, 2016, a three-year-old boy climbed into a gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden and was grabbed and dragged by Harambe, a 17-year-old Western lowland gorilla. Fearing for the boy's life, a zoo worker shot and killed Harambe. The incident was recorded on video and received broad international coverage and commentary, including controversy over the choice to kill Harambe. A number of primatologists and conservationists wrote later that the zoo had no other choice under the circumstances, and that it highlighted the danger of zoo animals in close proximity to humans and the need for better standards of care.
Harambe is a silver back gorilla at the weight of 440 pounds (200 KGS)
The poor soul died 1 day after his 17th birthday.[/spoiler]
Adolf Hitler
[spoiler]Adolf Hitler (German: [ˈadɔlf ˈhɪtlɐ]; 20 April 1889 – 30 April 1945) was a German politician who was the leader of the [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] Party(Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei; NSDAP), Chancellor of Germany from 1933 to 1945, and Führer("leader") of [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] Germany from 1934 to 1945. As dictator of the German Reich, he initiated World War II in Europe with theinvasion of Poland in September 1939 and was a central figure of the Holocaust.
Hitler was born in Austria, then part of Austria-Hungary, and raised near Linz. He moved to Germany in 1913 and was decorated during his service in the German Army in World War I. He joined the German Workers' Party, the precursor of the NSDAP, in 1919 and became leader of the NSDAP in 1921. In 1923, he attempted a coup in Munich to seize power. The failed coup resulted in Hitler's imprisonment, during which time he dictated the first volume of his autobiography and political manifesto Mein Kampf ("My Struggle"). After his release in 1924, Hitler gained popular support by attacking theTreaty of Versailles and promoting Pan-Germanism, anti-Semitism, and anti-communism with charismatic oratory andNazi propaganda. Hitler frequently denounced international capitalism and communism as being part of a Jewish conspiracy.
By 1933, the [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] Party was the largest elected party in the German Reichstag, which led to Hitler's appointment as Chancellor on 30 January 1933. Following fresh electionswon by his coalition, the Reichstag passed theEnabling Act, which began the process of transforming the Weimar Republic into [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] Germany, a one-party dictatorship based on the totalitarian and autocratic ideology ofNational Socialism. Hitler aimed to eliminate Jews from Germany and establish a New Order to counter what he saw as the injustice of the post-World War I international order dominated by Britain and France. His first six years in power resulted in rapid economic recovery from the Great Depression, the effective abandonment of restrictions imposed on Germany after World War I, and the annexation of territories that were home to millions of ethnic Germans—actions which gave him significant popular support.
Hitler sought Lebensraum ("living space") for the German people. His aggressive foreign policy is considered to be the primary cause of the outbreak of World War II in Europe. He directed large-scale rearmament and on 1 September 1939 invaded Poland, resulting in British and French declarations of war on Germany. In June 1941, Hitler ordered aninvasion of the Soviet Union. By the end of 1941 German forces and the European Axis powers occupied most of Europe and North Africa. Failure to defeat the Soviets and the entry of the United States into the war forced Germany onto the defensive and it suffered a series of escalating defeats. In the final days of the war, during the Battle of Berlin in 1945, Hitler married his long-time lover, Eva Braun. On 30 April 1945, less than two days later, the two killed themselves to avoid capture by theRed Army, and their corpses were burned.
Under Hitler's leadership and racially motivated ideology, the [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] regime was responsible for the genocide of at least 5.5 million Jews and millions of other victimswhom he and his followers deemedUntermenschen ("sub-humans") and socially undesirable. Hitler and the [url=http://www.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law]-godwinslaw!-[/url] regime were also responsible for the killing of an estimated 19.3 million civilians and prisoners of war. In addition, 29 million soldiers and civilians died as a result of military action in the European Theatre of World War II. The number of civilians killed during the Second World War was unprecedented in warfare, and constitutes the deadliest conflict in human history.
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Clorox Bleach(And it's creator)
[spoiler]The Clorox Company, based in Oakland, California, is an American worldwide manufacturer and marketer of consumer and professional products[6] with approximately 7,700 employees worldwide as of June 30, 2015.[5] The company’s fiscal year 2015 net sales were $5.7 billion,[4] which ranked the company at #469 on Fortune’s 2015 Fortune 500 list.[7]
Clorox products are sold primarily through mass merchandisers, retail outlets, e-commerce channels, distributors and medical supply providers.[8] Clorox brands include its namesake bleach and cleaning products, as well as Brita, Burt's Bees, Formula 409, Glad,Hidden Valley, Kitchen Bouquet, KC Masterpiece, Soy Vay, Kingsford, Liquid-Plumr, Mistolin, Pine-Sol, Poett, Tilex, S.O.S., and Fresh Step, Scoop Away and Ever Clean cat litters.[9]
In 2008, The Clorox Company became the first major consumer packaged goods company to develop and nationally launch agreen cleaning line, Green Works, into the mainstream cleaning aisle.[10]
In 2011, The Clorox Company integratedcorporate social responsibility (CSR) reporting with financial reporting. The company’s annual report for the fiscal year ending in June 2011 shared data on financial performance as well as advances in environmental, social and governance performance.[11]
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Keep in mind that you should not vote just because said character is a meme, but because of their power. For example, Hitler is allowed to use every single one of his men, vehicles, etc...
This doesn't seem fair to Harambe and Clorox right? Too bad. But you should never underestimate those 2 quantum physics-bending forces.
Who do you think would win this blood bath? Cast your votes down below and don't take this too seriously.
Tl;dr[spoiler]Read the post[/spoiler]
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Shameless bump