I have always been unsure of god in my life, and I don't know if God exists. All I want is some time alone to figure things out for myself without a biased view on religion, but all I get is my mom telling me to go to church and seek help from a pastor and stuff. She was in tears about me being unsure if god exists, and she teles at me because apparently I know nothing. Apparently I'm foolish to leave god because I'll just go back to him. Apparently she promised to lead me towards god when I was baptized, and now all she is doing by forcing me to go to church is making me less want to be religious. Now she doesn't like one of my best friends. Now my older brother said I'll go to hell to rot away. Now I feel like I am not truly loved by my family if I am not accepts for my beliefs. My dad doesn't want to hear any of this, so I have no clue where he stands, but he has always been odd about religion to me.
I just want help, I just want a family that is accepting, but the person in my family I thought would not force me to believe in god, my mom who I love and is usually nice and respectful to everyone no matter their religion, will not let me make my own decision willingly. I don't feel loved right now, I fell hated, and it's not fair.
Edit: I think me and my mom have a better understanding of eachother now after talking. I know she is worried about me because she loves me, but I just hope our different views on god don't distance me from my family. I suppose this thread was too click bait, so I changed the title. I probably let my emotions dictate this post more than I should have. Anyways, I now have to probably go to church and deal with the stereotypical Christian parent finding out their child does not think god is as real as the parent thing. It's annoying, but if it's what will keep my mom from crying and feeling terrible about herself and me, then it's what I probably have to do.
edit 2: Thanks for the advice and support you guys have been showing. I appreciate it. This was at first a hard thing for me to admit that I doubt god's existence because I was indoctrinated into a family of Christians, and was pretty much taught that atheists were wrong, and that I should never doubt god's existence. I can't say I know the answer the the existence of a god, but I can say that these past 2 days have been a difficult mentally and emotionally. Sunday/ tomorrow will probably be worse because I have to go to church apparently, and I probably have no choice, but I know my mom does mean well in a messed up Christian way. However, I will make my own path and I won't be someone to simply connect unrelated events to prove the existence of a god.
Edit 3: I got a bs warning in this topic so I can't reply to it anymore, so yah, wtf. Anyways things are calming down and getting better and I really appreciate the support and advice you guys have been giving, even if there is a troll being disrespectful in this thread, just ignore him/her.
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Imo religious parents come on too strong when trying to raise their children as christian.