[b]When things don't seem to go your way, you just have to carry on. CmdrX27's character is in this chapter Chapter 71: Past and Gone[/b] [i]You were still fighting in a place where everything seemed hopeless.[/i] Her boots smacked the floors harshly, heart hammering against her ribcage with each thump. The hallways seemed longer, growing but she knew this place by heart. It didn't chase away the memories of being carried here time and time again. [i]You were heavier than any gun I had ever held. The responsibility of raising you outweighed everything.[/i] Had she been wrong? To raise a Fallen when all her life revived was taught to hate? To have something that every Guardian couldn't have? People and medic bots skittered out of her way but the unfortunate ones were thrown aside in her haste. Their pride and undignified sounds were mute to her ears because she sped down hallway after hallway. For every step, the darkness seemed to close in behind her in her mind. With that darkness came the memories of the past and the faces of those lost came to light. How long had it been? To lose someone dear to her by the hands of fate? To let them go to the cold embracing hands of death? Emotions bubbled and spilled over, the faces more distinguished as the seconds passed. Vala knew she couldn't see their smiles anymore, to hear their laughs and pick at their habits that was endearing to her. They were gone, lost to the echoes of time and stayed frozen in her memories. Why was she still here? Why was she still alive, fighting and kicking to people she once called friends and family? They were Guardians, beings of immense power but not immortal. Her kind was kindled on a deep sense of duty that sometimes blinded them. Some too blind to realize that maybe honor and glory was the only way to die. That alone had taken everything from her but she wouldn't let them take her son. Hunters made vows and kept them. She wouldn't ruin that unspoken rule now. The cells came into view, her lungs screaming and body aching for rest but she pressed on. Skidding to a stop, she flicked her eyes to each cell for a sign of somebody there. Her heart held hope with every flick from cell to cell. But Bolt wasn't there. A scream tore out of her throat, loud and painful and filled with sorrow. It echoed harshly on the hallway walls, sending chills to anyone who heard such a desperate sound. She imagined Bolt's body already cold, ether escaping him. He was probably scared when she was out cold. Vala kept screaming, the shadows screaming with her behind her eyes. Those damn faces surrounded her, all a cacophony of noise she couldn't tell apart who was who. Her knees gave out, slamming her to the ground as she brought her hands up on either side of her head in hopes to stop those heart wrenching cries. [i]Blood. They were gone. Cold body, no heartbeat, body still. Couldn't reload faster. Cabal too powerful. Her hand slipping. Vex ambush and surrounded us. Tears. Pain. All gone. Please. Helpmehelpmehelpme-[/i] "Vala!? Vala!!!" Hands suddenly grasped her shoulders, the contact jarring her from the shadows. Her eyes pulled up to meet the person's face but she recoiled with a screech. Andal was there. His eyes were white, devoid of life and a look that spoke volumes of sadness. His face was covered in cuts, Vala wanting to turn away from the sight. [i]"Help me. Please stay by my side. I don't want to die alone."[/i] "No. I didn't leave your side. You left me. Left [i]us.[/i] You died. P-please Andal." Vala blubbered, eyes blurring with tears when Andal ducked his head down to not face her. When he brought his head back up, she wanted to scream once more but it stuck in her throat and escaped as a frightened gasp. "If you had reloaded faster, Vala..." There was another person there, a Titan's mark fluttering uselessly on their bicep like she remembered all these years later. "If you had held cover like our leader said..." "N-no. You're dead. I tried. I tried!!" But the dead Guardian's face changed once more, her blue skin appearing and fluctuating like a static video. "You didn't come back. Why didn't you come back??" She [i]did[/i] go back. Go back to the wreckage and found her body under a building with her Ghost smashed under her body. "The Vex didn't let us go easily, didn't they Vala? I wished I saw that Hobgoblin." She saw that Hobgoblin but didn't shoot it faster. She lost him over the edge, the screams all she could remember. Their Ghost was sniped the second it appeared, the broken sound the last thing uttered from his lips before he fell. "Couldn't you have held on tighter?" She tried! The feeling of her fingers slipping still haunted her even to this day. Her scared blue eyes were the last Vala would ever see. They didn't find her body, only a red stain on the ground when they went to search for her. "You left us." She didn't. "You locked us away." No. She just didn't want to remember all the bitter tears and heartache. [i]"And now your son is next."[/i] "NO!!!" Vala screamed, shoving the person away, their warped faces flickering again. The darkness melted away for a second and she saw Shade standing there, eyes wide and scared. "Vala? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Shade was there, the darkness gone and the past screeching in the back of her mind like an annoying bug. "I tried!!" Vala shouted, grabbing Shade by his shoulders, eyes crazed borderline maniacal when he looked to her face. "I tried Shade!! I tried to help them! I tried to keep them alive. [i]I tried!!"[/i] "Calm down. It's okay I'm here." Shade murmured, hands wounding around her back in an embrace, pulling her body to his chest. Vala fought to be apart but the Warlock held on with a strength bigger than hers. Didn't he see that she didn't deserve hugs or reassurance? She failed being a mother and a friend. She failed in trying to keep people alive. "You didn't fail. You're okay. It's in the past. Calm down Vala." Shade assured once more, rubbing her back until the dam broke and she sobbed heavily on his chest. Shade did not push her away, his hands rubbing her back to comfort her grief. She let it all out, all the years of pain and trying to forget and smother the guilt she could not show. The shadows ebbed away the longer she sobbed, the past receding to nothing but whispers. Shade was there though, a rock that grounded her from the onslaught of painful emotions and memories. She didn't hear the sound of a door opening, but Shade growling and hugging her closer made her open her eyes. Another Hunter was there through her blurry eyesight, unfamiliar but the gun in their hands was. "Sha-" There was a sudden deafening boom that made her eardrums pop. Before she could bring her hands up to cup her ears, pain shot up her spine. The hurt was so quick that it made her drop to the floor, a pained groan escaping her lips. "Vala!!!" Shade shouted, kneeling down. Something warm trickled down her back but she didn't have to see it to know it was her blood. The darkness behind her eyelids beckoned her to the abyss but she fought it with pained breaths. She deserved this didn't she? Through the fog in her mind she watched Shade try to wrestle the gun away from the Hunter who was aiming for another shot. Another deafening sound. More pain. Her hands covered the wound over her stomach as red bloomed from her skin. Shade was shouting. Pain. A red puddle around her, the darkness lulling her down, down, down. Vala gave one more wheezing breath before she fell. ...... She deserved this didn't she?