Before I carry on I'd just like to say I'm posting this here because if I put it on social media I'd probably get called an attention seeker and I don't really have anybody close to chat with to try and sort things out.
Basically I want to see my dad more. I try so hard to get him to do things with me but there's always an excuse. His new wife dictates what he does, and for the most part that's catering to her family. I hate her guts for reasons I won't say, I'll just call her a homewrecker as a hint.
I made the mistake of accepting the fact that he left to join her and visited them both just so I still have contact with him. The amount of times I've left their home with the feeling of wanting to self harm just to distract me from the pain of what is going on is overwhelming. For that reason I haven't been to his house for a long time and I have no plans to.
I have straight up told him that she causes a lot of problems for me. I had 32 weeks of counselling at my school to try and help me not feel so bad about myself and my life. However he defends her by claiming that it isn't her but her illnesses. He seems to be the only one that can't see that she's a manipulative piece of shit and plays on barely being ill to have him wrapped around her fingers.
Is it time that I just give up? I'm getting to the stage of where I believe the pain of not seeing him would be better than the pain of having both of them in my life.
I know this is fairly deep for a place like this, but as I say I don't know where else I can ask for help. I have no friends that I can trust, my mum will just be biased and I do not want to cry for help on a platform where people know who I am.
I'd also like to add that I am fully expecting trolls to come on to this thread and take the piss but I guess that's something I'll have to deal with.
Thank you to anybody who helps me x
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Forget about him If he cares about you he'll reach out to you