[url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/198924974/0/0]Jacob's Stories Overview[/url] [b]You want a story about how an animal soured a guardian's personality.[/b] Well, there's a lot of them. This one puma bamboozled every Hunter who uses Arc Blade on an Earth map. There's not a single Hunter who hasn't been trolled by this puma at one time or another. Oh.... You've heard to much of that puma, haven't you? Okay, there's one story. So anyway, there is this Defender Titan named Bryce who adores Twinkies. He decided to share his Twinkies with the Guardians of the Tower. He brought 9 crates to the Tower just to share them. Eight of them were stolen. Four were stolen by a sneaky Bladedancer. No, this guy was not me. The other four were stolen by an Overweight Atlantic Puffin named Jimmy. What happend to the last crate? We'll get to that later. Anyway, the Bladedancer was so sugar-rushed from eating all those Twinkies, he went into the Crucible, and used his Arc Blade the whole time in all those matches. It wasn't even Mayhem that week. He just went into Rumble and was untouchable. He soloed Trials of Osiris, and went flawless. He filled out, like, eighty Trials cards. All of them were flawless. Until he passed out. Meanwhile, Bryce found out that Jimmy stole the Twinkies. He tracked down the fat puffin and murdered it in front of Jimmy's own chick, Bubbles. After that, Bryce was so enraged, that he just murdered Guardians, one by one. But he was an idiot because he forgot we could be revived by our Ghosts. At one point, Bryce just put on The Ram and started charging at everyone. He destroyed his last box of Twinkies. That's when he realized how ridiculous he was acting. Then the Arc-infused claws of the puma sank into his back. [i]Don't do that again[/i], the puma growled, [i]I'm The only one that randomly attacks Bladedancers.[/i] There you go. There is not a single animal-related story that did not involve that puma.