What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! [b]THEN YOU NEED [u]PEREGRINE GREAVES!!![/u][/b] PUT THESE [b]SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN[/b] AND [b]YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES.[/b] THEY ARE [b]GEMS[/b]. YOU WILL LOOK [b]GLAMOROUS[/b] LIKE A [b]STYLISH LADY[/b] WHILE YOU [b]KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE![/b] YOUR LEGS ARE [b]BEDAZZLED![/b] BEDAZZLED WITH THE [b]STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS[/b] IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE [b]ZERO F***S[/b] ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO [b]SWEET JUMPKICKS! [/b] YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE AND [b]THAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE[/b] BECAUSE [b]YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE![/b] YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! [b]YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! [/b] YOU WILL [b]TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE[/b] AND YOU WILL [b]MASSACRE PEOPLE![/b] YOU WILL [b]F*** THEM UP! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS![/b] DENIED! [b]GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS[/b] AND CAUSE THEM TO [b]WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...[i]CAREFULLY[/i]....[/b] [b]YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES,[/b] DIVING INTO THEIR [b]NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT[/b] AND [b]MURDERING[/b] THEM WITH YOUR [b]ENERGY LEGS![/b] [b]IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU---[/b]wait, shit...[b]THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? [/b] YOU WILL [b]RUIN YOUR K/D[/b] LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE [b]ADDICTED[/b] TO THE SWEET, [i]SWEET[/i] SOUND OF [b]INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH![/b] YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY [b]SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE[/b] AND IT WILL BE [b]WORTH IT[/b] WHEN YOU [b]KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT[/b] BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! [b]EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED[/b] AS [b]YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED[/b] AND HIS FAMILY [b]FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS[/b] TO [b]TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF [i]TEXAAAAAAS![/i][/b] [b]PEREGRINE [i]GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES[/i]!!![/b]