Post your own!
(Click the link to view, its a gallery so it won't show)
-
"Get outta my basement you weeaboo fck and stop calling me dad" my dad says the craziest things sometimes
-
"if I gave a shit, I'd be worried"
-
all me da said to me was "turn it off" THIS IS TRUE, TOTALLY LEGIT [spoiler] ...a casual loop within this toggler's mechanism suggests that the toggling process somehow binds space and time into... [/spoiler]
-
Edited by Mr Flair: 6/20/2016 1:19:52 AMMe: "You make no sense" Dad: "I know, I make dollars"
-
My dad has a lot of quotes and sayings. People call them 'phillisms' after him. Some people even made him a quilt once with a whole bunch of them on it. My favorite one is "You don't live in a bubble"
-
Dad, during a prostate exam: "I can think of better things to be doing on a Thursday morning." Doctor: "So can I, sir. So can I..."
-
This probably isn't relevant to the thread but I just injested 200g of protein in the same 10 minutes and feel really sick
-
"Son, your mother and I found that marijuana in your top drawer, and we, uh, flushed it. Yeah, we flushed it. Don't let it happen again." They seemed real laid back about the whole thing. Then we ordered pizza.
-
Son, hurry up. I'm getting soft. Tonight we can use the lotion if you want.
-
Edited by NUCLEAR PUNCH: 6/20/2016 5:04:22 AM- Dad am hungry - Hi hungry am dad
-
Having teh sexy times with a girl when her dad walks in. She immediate starts apologising and saying "I'm sorry". Her dad looks at her and says, "Hi sorry, I'm dad." Then he turns to me and asks, "Are you -blam!-ing sorry?" [spoiler]Wish it were mine.[/spoiler]
-
[i]"Here, bite this towel, this ones gonna hurt."[/i]
-
Dad: That's a Dad Law. Me: A Dad Law? Dad: Yeah. They're laws that don't apply to me. Usually traffic laws.
-
I heard this story from a father once. It has a very good lesson: A scorpion walks along the side of a stream, wondering how to get across. A fox comes along and the scorpion asks, "Hey, will you take me across the stream?" The fox replies, "No, you'll sting me!" The scorpion assures him, "If I stung you, we would both drown!" The fox thinks about it for a bit and eventually agrees. The scorpion hops on his back and the fox starts swimming. About halfway through, the scorpion stings the fox. As the poison fills his lungs, the fox asks, "Why did you do that?" The scorpion replies, "I couldn't help it. It's my nature."
-
"I'VE GOT YOU IN MY SIGHTS!"
-
You know son, when I was your age I was outside doing stuff. Like what? You know, run of the mill stuff. Biking, racing, drugs, your mother.[spoiler]He actually said this last week.[/spoiler]
-
Edited by SpookyNoot: 6/20/2016 9:13:22 PM( ͡° ͟ʖ ͡°)
-
"Listen up, you little shit..."
-
When I'm full I stop eating that's why I'm the size I am
-
" " ~deadbeat daddio
-
Edited by MisterPugly: 6/20/2016 4:07:14 AM[quote] [b] [/b][/quote] oh geez you're so crazy dad
-
*Waitor/Waitress brings check* [i]"We didn't order that."[/i]
-
*moans "I'm cumming!"* *hit button* *"Hi cumming I'm dad"*
-
"Get over here and give me the succ before I beat the shit outta you" XD
-
"Hi hurt, I'm dad!"
-
Paper or plastic? Either, I'm bi-sack-tual