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Edited by navy seal:
6/15/2016 5:22:32 AM
70
How to get with your ex
Okay, this is how it goes.
You get an orangutan. I'm not talking a little monkey or some dancing chimp bullshit, I mean a -blam!-ing orangutan. Don't ask me how you're gonna get a -blam!-ing orangutan, because that's not my problem.
So the orangutan's name is Clyde. This is non-negotiable; all orangutans are named Clyde. I don't know why that is, it's just how the world works. So you and Clyde become man (and ape) about town. You're seen everywhere together, you make the scene. You and friends go out in big groups. You talk loud, and you laugh louder. Every time you say something witty, you high-five the orangutan. The town begins to buzz. It gets back to her. "Did you know the guy with the orangutan?", "You used to date the guy with the orangutan?", "Why would you break up with a guy with an orangutan?".
Next thing you know she's calling.
"I'm hoping we can still be friends. Wanna hang out sometime?"
"Geez, I dunno; me and Clyde were going to go to monster truck race tonight (orangutans love monster trucks). In fact, the whole social calendar seems kinda full. I tell you what, I'll make a little note (what was your name again?) and maybe I can squeeze you in. Oh well, you know my number so don't be a stra-- Hey, look at the time! I gotta skate, Clyde's making Mojitoes."
At this point, the upper hand is yours. You can let her twist in the wind, you can draw her back into your life at the pace you decide. Whatever, it's your life. But if you're a smart man? You slowly phase her back in. You're IM-ing. You're talking on Live. You get invited to family functions. You bring Clyde, he becomes like one of the family. You're one big Brady Bunch.
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Necro♤
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[b] [/b]
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This plan goes Every which way but simple.
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1 ReplyInstructions unclear, dick stuck in orangutan.
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1 ReplyThis. Is. Amazing. Now. If only it worked.
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▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b] ▼￣＞-―-＜￣▼ Ｙ Ｙ /\ / ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡° \ ＼ ｜ つ ヽつ [b][i]YOUR SATISFACTION CONFIRMS THE MOISTURIZATION.[/i][/b]
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It's easier to just bang her sister or mom to make her jealous.
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Pro tip, do not get a gorilla and paint it orange, it doesn't work.
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1 Reply[quote]Don't ask me how you're gonna get a -blam!-ing orangutan, that's not my problem[/quote] I'm dying
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1 Reply
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Instructions clear Dick stuck in her ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Why would you gey back with an ex? They're an ex for a reason...
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What ex ( ;͡° ;͜ʖ ;͡° ) Jkjk 'ts all good
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This information was perfect. I not have a girlfriend, and clyde is making me a grilled cheese sandwich. Life is good
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Looks too long All you need to do is be a good sex partner. Do that and she will always crawl back to you
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1 ReplyHuh, I didn't know that orangutans liked monster trucks. You learn something new everyday.
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play Drake?
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This is gold
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1 ReplyWat. Tha. Fuk.
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1 ReplyEdited by Britton: 6/16/2016 10:26:43 PMRight turn Clyde.
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1 ReplyWhen your orangutan sees your ex
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2 RepliesIt's been a while. Thanks navy seal.
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2 RepliesMan in the yellow hat is confirm.
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I could just call her up and tell her to come over.
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3 RepliesHave you tried blackpeoplemeet.com?
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Well looks like I am now dating an Orangutan.
