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6/11/2016 6:08:29 PM
54
Cellar for God 2016
I look around, and I see a forum that needs hope, a forum that needs guidance, a forum that needs a God like myself.
I don't actually need your nominations to become a God, since I already am a God, but to let you know, as your God, I will lay down some new commandments to better #Offtopic.
[b]1. We're going to build a wall separating us from all the other subforums on the website. It's going to be so impressive, and we're going to make the other subforums build it for us. #Offtopic will be it's own special little hugbox which is inescapable for all who frequent.
2. To follow the wall will be an immediate reform on immigration. No users who post in #destiny, who regularly play Destiny, who think they have a Destiny, who listen to Destiny's Child, or know someone named Destiny will be allowed to visit #Offtopic. Also, mandatory age requirement of 18 years old, and all accounts having been here for less than a year are automatically banned until that time is reached.
3. Automatic three month ban for any topics regarding politics, politicians, religion, religious people, religious figures, atheism, and atheists. I am your God. You don't have to worry about all that shit, I got you covered bro.
4. Automatic six month ban for posting spam. Including but not limited to:
-Only an image
-A small, insignificant event
-Doesn't ask a question or invite discussion
-Purposed solely at antagonizing people
-Roleplay
-Takes less than 30 seconds to type
-"Ninjas are corrupt," "Ninja brutality," "I don't deserve my ban," "I don't know how the PM system works so I'm going to waste space by posting a thread about a problem that would be much easier to solve by figuring out how the PM system works and PMing someone on the webteam."
[/b]
I am your God. You shall follow these commandments, or be banned with zero tolerance. Complaining will get you IP banned. Suing will get [url=http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/bungie/images/3/33/Jerome.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20081011204308]Jerome[/url] knocking at your door. And really, who want's to mess with God? Just listen to me bro's. I'm like, super important and better than all of you.
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Edited by unknownuserh: 11/3/2016 1:10:18 AMWe'd lose 67% of the population here if 18+ was a requirement but I think we'd see an immediate improvement
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1 Reply[b][i][u]Um, No? No worries my children, for i have returned.[/u][/i][/b]
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Hunter Kiota for God. "I don't see Cellar offering you guys the ability to get laid."
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I see no alternative
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1 ReplyWhile we do need some better forum topics, no one has a life that's interesting enough to spawn these topics. We are all so dull that we have to come up with pointless shitpost s.
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I vote XDC instead
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What the -blam!-, I already made this post. Go to hell fgt. This is all my platforms!!! Wow u literally couldn't even come up with something original, u don't deserve shit
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Is this done ironically or what.
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mfw I'm the best God.
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The problem here is that my cellar does not have a door. It has a hatch. Therefore by extension you are The Cellar Hatch in my house and as The Cellar Hatch and not The Cellar Door you are a false prophet in my home.
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4 RepliesInb4 CrazyLincoln bashes you for not existing
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I support this.
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I second this. You're practically a b.net legend but actually still on this site.
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Does that mean you will mend the bridges with #gaming Maybe stop the raids that have been occurring? [spoiler]good luck that [/spoiler]
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Eh, I disagree with some bits of the last one
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Also, do you enjoy the smell of your own farts? you sound like you do *succ succ succ*
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[quote]shitpostparty2k16[/quote]
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1 ReplyEdited by Murph Tha Smurf: 6/11/2016 10:13:46 PM>Gods in 2016
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You need to fight Deej to the death for that honour
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Eww no. [spoiler]wort[/spoiler]
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1 Reply[quote]3. Automatic three month ban for any topics regarding politics, politicians, religion, religious people, religious figures, atheism, and atheists. I am your God. You don't have to worry about all that shit, I got you covered.[/quote] Soooo... You'd be banned for three months for this post and subsequently banned for three months for any other post you make?
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Muted
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Edited by DontShootMe: 6/12/2016 2:49:57 AMI'll vote for you once I'm in Yolk
