[b]Hunters[/b]! Are you [b]TIRED[/b] of using [b]TRIPLE JUMP[/b]!? Did [b]YOU[/b] just recently discover "[b]BETTER CONTROL[/b]"!? Are you [b]TIRED[/b] of watching [b]TITANS[/b] go [b]FASTER[/b] than [b]YOU[/b]!? Are [b]TIRED[/b] of losing every race to your [b]TITAN SKATING [/b]friend!? Well then this exotic is [b]PERFECT [/b]for [b]YOU[/b]!! FROM THE COMPANY THAT BROUGHT YOU [b][i]"PEREGRINE GGGRRRRREEEAAAAAAVVVEEESSSSS"[/i][/b]
[i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i]
EVER WANTED TO BE [b]SANIC[/b]!?
[i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i]
WANNA KNOW WHAT'S IT'S LIKE TO BE A TITAN, WARLOCK AND HUNTER [b]HYBRID[/b]!?
[i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b] [/i]
PESKY SNIPER ON THE [b]OTHER SIDE [/b]OF THE MAP!?
[i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i]
YOUR STUPID ASS TEAMMATES KEEP TAKING THE SPARK BEFORE [b]YOU[/b] CAN GET TO IT!?
[i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i]
YOUR STUPID ASS TEAMMATES KEEP TAKING THE HEAVY AMMO BEFORE [b]YOU[/b] CAN GET TO IT!?
[i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i]
YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKES THE ROCK MORE THAN SHE LIKES [b]YOU[/b]!?
[b][i]BONES O[/i][/b]-...Nah there's really nothing you can do in that case...sorry....
CALL 1-777-777-7777 TO GET YOUR BONES OF EAO TODAY! BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! IF YOU CALL NOW WE'LL THROW IN "THE ROCK"! TITANS AND WARLOCKS WILL [b][u]HATE YOU[/u][/b] AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND WILL [b][u]LOV[/u][/b]-...No She'll still be in love with The Rock...Sorry...Again...
[b][i]BONES OF EAO!![/i][/b]
[i]Must be Level 18 or higher to order.[/i]
[spoiler][i]Bones of Eao are not responsible for any damage to: Head, Arms, Torso, Legs, Relationships, and/or Emotions.[/i] [/spoiler]
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Edited by redstar_1999: 6/18/2016 8:17:50 PMWhat the -blam!- did you just -blam!-ing say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Salt department, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on real enemies, and I have over 300 confirmed Rise of Iron completions. I am trained in saltiness and I’m the top -blam!- in the entire Last City. You are nothing to me but just another Dreg. I will Shoulder Charge you the -blam!- out with Greaves the likes of which has never been seen of before on this Earth, mark my -blam!-ing Bones. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, -blam!-er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of Cabal gays across Mars and your account is being traced right now so you better prepare for Ddosing, maggot. The Ddos that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can write salt in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare greaves. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed Vandal killing but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Pre-buff cryptarch and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the Last City you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your -blam!-ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re being lectured by The Speaker, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re -blam!-ing dead, kiddo. [spoiler]it's a meme[/spoiler]
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Greaves would still sh*t on your face even if you had the [b][i][u]BONES OF EEEEAAAAOOO[/u][/i][/b]
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Instructions not clear: penis jumped off the map
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Those are nice but... [spoiler] What if all you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THESTRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE ZERO F***S ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE ANDTHAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL F*** THEM UP! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT AND MURDERING THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU---wait, shit...THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES [/spoiler]
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[b][i][u]What if all you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THE STRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE ZERO F***S ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE AND THAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL F*** THEM UP! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT AND MURDERING THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU---wait, shit...THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES [/u][/i][/b]
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What if everything you ever wanted... WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! PUT THESE SWEET-ASS LEGS ON YOUR TITAN AND YOU WILL F***ING DECIMATE THINGS WITH YOUR POWERFUL KNEES. THEY ARE GEMS. YOU WILL LOOK GLAMOROUS LIKE A STYLISH LADY WHILE YOU KNEE SOMEONE IN THE THROAT SO HARD THEIR TEETH GO FLYING OUT OF THEIR ASSHOLE! YOUR LEGS ARE BEDAZZLED! BEDAZZLED WITH THESTRENGTH OF 1,000 KODIAK BEARS IF KODIAK BEARS GAVE ZERO F***S ABOUT GRAVITY AND EVOLVED TO DO SWEET JUMPKICKS! YOU WILL SET YOUR CHILD ON YOUR KNEE TO GIVE HIM SOUND FATHERLY ADVICE ANDTHAT CHILD WILL F***ING EXPLODE BECAUSE YOUR KNEES ARE INSTANT DEATH! YOUR SON WILL DIE! YOUR WIFE WILL DIVORCE YOU! YOU WILL DIE ALONE ATOP THE MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES YOU'VE LEFT IN YOUR WAKE AS YOUR LIFE DISSOLVES INTO A NIGHTMARISH HELLSCAPE OF VIOLENCE AND DEPRAVITY! YOU WILL TAKE PEREGRINE GREAVES INTO THE CRUCIBLE AND YOU WILL MASSACRE PEOPLE! YOU WILL F*** THEM UP! YOU WILL KNEE BLADEDANCERS! DENIED! GET THAT BUTTERKNIFE THE F*** OUT OF HERE! YOU WILL KNEE RADIANT WARLOCKS AND CAUSE THEM TO WEEP RADIANT TEARS! YOU WILL KNEE GOLDEN GUNSLINGERS...CAREFULLY.... YOU WILL KNEE OTHER TITANS IN THEIR BUBBLES, DIVING INTO THEIR NEON DISCO DANCE PARTIES BLIND AS SHIT AND MURDERING THEM WITH YOUR ENERGY LEGS! IT IS YOUR BUBBLE NOW SO FU*** THAT GU---wait, shit...THE BUBBLE IS GONE BECAUSE OF YOU GODDAMMIT WHY THE F*** DID YOU DO THAT!? YOU WILL RUIN YOUR K/D LIKE I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE ADDICTED TO THE SWEET, SWEET SOUND OF INSTANT AIRBORNE DEATH! YOU WILL CATCH SO MANY SHOTGUN BLASTS TO THE FACE AND IT WILL BE WORTH IT WHEN YOU KNOCK A BLADEDANCER THE F*** OUT BEFORE HE CAN CHOP UP YOUR TEAM! EVERY PAINFUL DEATH WILL BE VALIDATED AS YOUR LEG COLLIDES WITH A FIERY WARLOCK'S FAGGY GOAT HAT SO HARD THAT HE'S RENDERED BRAIN-DAMAGED AND HIS FAMILY FIGHTS WITH THE STATE OF TEXAS TO TAKE HIM OFF OF LIFE-SUPPORT! HE WILL LIVE OFF OF TUBES! BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAS! PEREGRINE GREEAAAAAAAAAAVES
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HEY [b]WARLOCKS[/b] ARE YOU WEAK FLOOFERS [b]SICK AND TIRED[/b] OF BEING FLAT BROKE ON GLIMMER? DO YOU WANT NADES ON YOUR NADES AND MORE JUICE FOR YOUR SWEET SPACE MAGIC MELEES? TAKE OFF YOUR HELMETS AND GANDER AT THE [b]ALCHEMISSTTTSSSS RAIMEEEENNNTTTT[/b] NEED AMMO BECAUSE YOU'RE MAKING FOOLS CRY LIKE AN ANIME FAN ON [b]PROM NIGHT?!?!?[/b] [b]ALCHEMISSTTTSSSS RAIMEEENNTTTT[/b] CHECK THIS DOPE SHIT OUT. YOU GET AMMO? HUH? [i]WHAT'S THAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! [/i] FREAKING SPACE MAGIC IS TURNING MY BULLETS INTO [b]GLIMMER!?[/b] [i]SPACE MAGIC[/i] SCIENCE. ENERGY. SCIENCE. [b]E N E R G Y. [/b] YOU'LL BE ROLLING IN GLIMMER FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY LOOT CAVE. DO YOU HOLD ONTO YOUR SUPER LIKE A BITCH?! ORBS WILL JUICE UP YOUR MELEE AND NADE. [b]RED BULL ORBSSSSSSSSSSSS.[/b] FUXK BITCHES GET GLIMMER. LET'S NOT FORGET HOW COMPLETELY [i]AWESOME[/i] YOU'LL LOOK FLOORING ABOUT WITH THE LATEST IN LED LIGHTING TECHNOLOGY APPLIED DIRECTLY TO THE WEAVES OF THIS SICK PIMP ROBE. [b]GLIMMERRRRRRRR[/b] [b]M A G I C[/b] FORGET ABOUT THAT STUPID BIRD FEATHER HELMET. FORGET ABOUT THAT DEER HELMET. THIS ISN'T HUNTING SEASON. [b]THIS IS SPENDING SEASONNNNNNN[/b] YOU HAVE A WALLET. AND THAT WALLETS NAME IS [b]ALCHEMISSTTTSSSS RAIMENTTTTTTTTTTT5455R2[/b] FORGET ABOUT HOW AWESOME THE OTHER CLASSES EXOTICS ARE, YOU'LL [b]HAVE NADES AND BLING FOR DAYSSSSSSSSSSSS[/b] [b]ALCHEMISSTTTSSSS RAIMENNNNNNTTTTTTTTT5555[/b] [spoiler]Alchemist's Raiment and it's sponsors are not liable for any illegal offenses such as glimmer laundering, racketeering, prostitution, assault and battery, pimping, etc. Alchemists Raiment bears a glimmer generation of roughly 2% glimmer per ammo box on a sunny day and also Tuesday afternoons. Flashing lights on product may trigger seizures. Side effects may also be depression, as the other classes have better and more varied Exotics. This is normal amongst most subjects.[/spoiler]
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It increases hunter's mobility quite a bit. Especially useful if you're an avid shotgun user.
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Worst Hunter exotic IMO. Kepri's Sting for invisibility and DOT melee FTW.
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Edited by JesusDied4uBro: 6/8/2016 4:07:10 PMIs this supposed to be some poor copy of the peregrine greaves just changed? Sorry, but the peregrine greaves and only the peregrine greaves can have an exciting narrative description. But it did make me laugh, so I can't really complain. 👌
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Great publicity, shut up and take my money
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Edited by MonkeyPillows: 6/7/2016 3:27:35 PMHello there, I have arrived [spoiler]I am MonkeyPillows.[/spoiler]
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Edited by Xero: 6/7/2016 3:56:12 AMSounds all good....but remember the hidden Crucible* Disclaimer [spoiler][quote] WARNING!!!! If you are gung-ho to run around corners and hallways in Crucible, you will either get: Sniped, Smoked, Shotgunned, Headshotted, Meleed, Shoulder Charged, Bubble Blinded (followed up with a shotgun blast to the face), Fist of Havoc-ed, Hammer Slammed, Grenaded, Burned, Scorched, Electrocuted, Disintegrated, Bombed, Rocket Launched, Teathered, Hunted, Sliced, Diced, Impaled with a Magical Arrow, Misadventured, Killed by The Architects... OR... ...ALL of the above. ALL. AT. ONCE. More warnings are to be added as of: [b][i]indefinately.[/i][/b] Disclaimer to be updated as needed... [i]ammendment[/i] i) The Crucible is not responsible for the loss of any hands, arms, feet, legs, various body parts, helmets, gauntlets, chest pieces, boots, guns, ghosts, pride, dignity, tears, faith or lack thereof, or any rage of any kind hereby to be obtained now or in the future. ii) Any and all complaints on the Crucible may be forwarded to the R.A.G.E. (Really Angry Guardians Engaged) Department. These complaints will be serviced on a Daily basis. I, <Guardian>, hereby acknowledge this disclaimer for the Crucible and accept the Terms and Conditions, or lack thereof, by voluntary participation in any given match now, or in the future, indefinately. [/spoiler] [spoiler]A wise man chuckled and would say "The Crucible is no place for mercy"... [/spoiler][/quote]
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Peregrine Greaves post was better. But two claps for the effort.
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WARLOCKS!!! ARE YOU SICK AND F***IN' TIRED OF HUNTERS [b]ARC BLADING[/b] YOU UNTIL THE END OF TIME? DO YOU HATE GETTING HAMMERED BY [b]SUNBREAKERS[/b]? MOST OF ALL, DO YOU WANT TO [b]SHOOT LIGHTNING OUT OF YOUR BUTT?[/b] SAY NO MORE, BECAUSE THE COMPANY THAT BROUGHT YOU THE [b]NOTHING MANACLES[/b] HAS THE EXOTIC [b]JUST FOR YOU!!![/b] INTRODUCING THE [b][u]IMPOSSIBLE MACHIIIIIINES![/u][/b] SENTENCE YOUR ENEMIES TO AN ELECTRIC DEATH EVERY TIME THEY GET NEAR YOU!!! BEST OF ALL, YOU CAN USE [u][b]LANDFALL[/b][/u] ANY TIME YOU WANT!!! WHO NEEDS EXOTIC WARLOCK BOOTS WHEN YOU HAVE [b][u][i]THE IMPOSSIBLE MACHIIIIIIIIINES?[/i][/u][/b] ORDER YOURS TODAY, AND WE'LL THROW IN 13 STRANGE COINS TO GET ANOTHER PAIR OF [b][u]THE IMPOSSIBLE MACHIIIIIINES[/u][/b] FROM XÛR WHEN HE COMES TO THE TOWER*! [spoiler]Must be level 18 or higher to order. The makers of The Impossible Machines are not responsible for any damage to Head, Torso, Arms, Legs, TV screen or controller. *Xûr May or may not appear in the Reef when he comes to the Solar System. Please check your local sources for directions to Xûr.[/spoiler]
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Still not as good as a knee to the face for the omnislashing, electric toothpick wielding cloud wannabees
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★★★★★★★- This is an amazing offer with an amazing company. I trust them with my Gjallahorn any time. 7/7 would buy from again.
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1-800-AYY-LMAO
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This looks interesting. I'll make one for warlocks. Oh wait.
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MUTED!
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[quote][b]Hunters[/b]! Are you [b]TIRED[/b] of using [b]TRIPLE JUMP[/b]!? Did [b]YOU[/b] just recently discover "[b]BETTER CONTROL[/b]"!? Are you [b]TIRED[/b] of watching [b]TITANS[/b] go [b]FASTER[/b] than [b]YOU[/b]!? Are [b]TIRED[/b] of losing every race to your [b]TITAN SKATING [/b]friend!? Well then this exotic is [b]PERFECT [/b]for [b]YOU[/b]!! FROM THE COMPANY THAT BROUGHT YOU [b][i]"PEREGRINE GGGRRRRREEEAAAAAAVVVEEESSSSS"[/i][/b] [i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i] EVER WANTED TO BE [b]SANIC[/b]!? [i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i] WANNA KNOW WHAT'S IT'S LIKE TO BE A TITAN, WARLOCK AND HUNTER [b]HYBRID[/b]!? [i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b] [/i] PESKY SNIPER ON THE [b]OTHER SIDE [/b]OF THE MAP!? [i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i] YOUR STUPID ASS TEAMMATES KEEP TAKING THE SPARK BEFORE [b]YOU[/b] CAN GET TO IT!? [i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i] YOUR STUPID ASS TEAMMATES KEEP TAKING THE HEAVY AMMO BEFORE [b]YOU[/b] CAN GET TO IT!? [i][b]BONES OF EAO![/b][/i] YOUR GIRLFRIEND LIKES THE ROCK MORE THAN SHE LIKES [b]YOU[/b]!? [b][i]BONES O[/i][/b]-...Nah there's really nothing you can do in that case...sorry.... CALL 1-777-777-7777 TO GET YOUR BONES OF EAO TODAY! BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! IF YOU CALL NOW WE'LL THROW IN "THE ROCK"! TITANS AND WARLOCKS WILL [b][u]HATE YOU[/u][/b] AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND WILL [b][u]LOV[/u][/b]-...No She'll still be in love with The Rock...Sorry...Again... [b][i]BONES OF EAO!![/i][/b] [i]Must be Level 18 or higher to order.[/i] [spoiler][i]Bones of Eao are not responsible for any damage to: Head, Arms, Torso, Legs, Relationships, and/or Emotions.[/i] [/spoiler][/quote]
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Edited by KillrateOmega: 6/7/2016 12:23:14 PMMr. Fruit would be proud.
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I always have the boner on my hunter.
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[url=http://example.com]https://i.imgur.com/u0rqR9x.png[/url]
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Lol I use bones all the time on my hunter
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Overrated if you need the extra junp over gd perks then more fool you