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5/14/2016 4:02:45 AM
114
I am the greatest wingman
My friend was sleeping over at my house. My parents and brother were all sleeping upstairs while we were downstairs watching tv, playing video games and shit. At around one am he asks if this girl can come over (he REALLY wants to get with this girl, and I don't want to turn him down so I reluctantly agree, on the condition that she's quiet.) The three of us are hanging out and I make some excuse to leave the room so my friend can have some alone time with this girl. I'm upstairs in my room when I start hearing loud moans. This is bad news for me, but great news for my friend, he's losing his virginity to a girl he really likes. I hear stirring in the next room and I know that their bout of loud lovemaking has woken my parents. The last thing I want is for my confused father to walk in on my friend -blam!-ing this girl in my basement. What do I do? I go to pornhub, click on the first video I see, crank that shit to 100 on my speakers and let it play for the three plus minutes that my buddy ended up lasting. My dad ended up coming into my room, discovering the source of the noise (I even threw in some fapping motion under the covers) and awkwardly leaving. My buddy ended up having "the best -blam!-ing time ever bro" but damn, there were some awkward glances exchanged between my parents and I the next morning.
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1 ReplyYou stole this off Reddit. I saw this same thing word for word months ago. But it's still funny
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Hell yeah mate
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Talk about devotion...
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Uhhhhh...
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1 ReplyWish I had friend to do this
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1 ReplyYou are the goof master, you have everyone in this thread under you control. Nice try But the line isn't strong enough for me
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1 ReplyCool story bro
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You sir.... Are a great friend!
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1 ReplyBut Opra is the richest
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19 RepliesYour friend should do the same for you, so you can lose your virginity too.
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4 RepliesCool story, but fake af.
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10 RepliesWow I never read these long posts... And normally just say "lol 12 year old". But man. You are probably the coolest kid I have ever come across. That guy owes you so much. You not only let him screw a hoe at your place with your parents home (I would of said phuck no) then you do the pornhub thing to lure parents away. Good job. 9/8
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That's... Wow. Must be awkward for your parents.
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12 RepliesNot all heroes wear capes
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You da man
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*applause* Bravo, man!
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You sir, are the best of friends.
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I would have let him get caught. While catching it on camera
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I smell a copypasta
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k [b] [/b]
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1 ReplyI'll take "Things That Never Happened" for 800 Alex. Answer: [spoiler]Daily Double![/spoiler]
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2 RepliesWait... So how old is your friend then? Just asking. Also u the best wingman
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And the bro award of the year goes to.... Navy Seal!
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I sense something Freudian here
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You forgot your legos on the floor, when one of them was heading to the fridge for something to drink, they stepped on a lego brick. You really need to pick up your toys kid.
