I have never understood this concept of joining a group as opposed to leading a group. Maybe that is just me, but when I'm with one other player I post that WE need 4 more, and pick my own randoms... as opposed to trying to find a place in an already established group. You and your missus ARE the already established group. Try using the LFG tools in the opposite manner more. Doubtless you will get more respect if you are the leaders.