It's honestly the community of destiny. Lots of the people are cool to raid and play with (as I'm sure you and your girlfriend have found) but a much higher percent of the community is just toxic people, predominantly males, who care for what makes them feel better than what makes sense and what is fair. The same kind of thing will happen if you put [Girl] in your clan tag on a game like Call of Duty. You will get more invites and more messages. It's unfortunate that you and her have to be surrounded by this and that you are ultimately punished. But one thing I have seen, because a lot of female destiny players feel the same way (that they are treated differently, good or bad), is that the girl in the party will refuse to talk. No call outs or anything. Because I'm sure you have been part of teams where as soon as a girl speaks the whole fire team drops what is going on and focuses on the large flow of estrogen in the party. All I can say is I agree with you man, it's not cool. Best thing you can probably do is post on LFG and tell them that if they show any form of disrespect that they get booted no questions or warnings. That's what I do whenever someone is racist or sexist or says nasty remarks about homosexual people.