I want it. You want it. We all want it. Just imagine the possibilities!
"Take next exit... Or... You die. Your choice."
*Misses turn* "You disappoint me, Guardian."
*Gets flipped off by another driver*
"Oooohhh... He has called you out, Guardian."
*misses multiple turns*
"Do you know why Sylok is defiled?
BECAUSE HE DIDNT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS."
"You wouldn't want to end up like him, would you now, Guardiaaaan?"
[b]SmokeyToasty[/b]
[quote]Turn right on 195 north guardian, stay on 195 north... but not for loooong[/quote]
[b]Khronuss[/b]
[quote]"Make a u turn at the next light"
"We'll done gaurdian. Well dooonee."[/quote]
[b]xcutioner_0[/b]
[quote]
*road rage driver smacks into you, gets out of the car*
"He has challenged you...in the ways of old."
*another driver causes a big crash in front of you, nearly killing you*
"He tried to kill you...kill him baaack."[/quote]
[b]BXR Lonestar[/b]
[quote]
How about, you drive past a wreck on the highway and Variks says:
"They are dead, YOU- are not."[/quote]
[b]USMCRiptide[/b]
[quote]
"You're license has expired guardian, you will continue to drive, but not for long."
I pull into the DMV
"Welcome to the prison of elders"[/quote]
[b]Kevin949[/b]
[quote]*GPS Signal Lost* "Taniks is jamming our comms"[/quote]
[b]Sawk monkey[/b]
[quote]Take me to mcdonalds variks!
"You face foot soldiers of the cabal legiiiiooooonnn"[/quote]
[b]Zedmonton[/b]
[quote]
"Do not pass short bus on left guardian. They are challenged, in the ways of old."[/quote]
[b]Also by Zedmonton:[/b]
[quote]Me: Stopping at crosswalks for children.
[spoiler][i]They will try to kill you guardian, kill them back![/i][/spoiler]
Me: "What? They are just children!"
[spoiler][i]But not for looooong.[/i][/spoiler]
Me: "You really don't like stopping at crosswalks do you?"
[spoiler][i]Clever clever creature.[/i][/spoiler]
Me: "Seriously, no, it's not happening!"
[spoiler][i]You will be rewarded, treasure from the Queen. And my respect as well.[/i][/spoiler]
Me: "Hmm, that's tempting... Still no."
[spoiler][i]You disappoint me guardian.[/i][/spoiler]
Me: "I'll get over it, just give me directions to grandpa."
[spoiler][i]The Prison of Elders awaits![/i][/spoiler]
Me: "Don't let him know I call it that."[/quote]
[b]TBradyBowser[/b]
[quote]Or maybe you should have a car horn extension.
[i]*guy cuts you off*[/i]
[i]*You press horn*[/i]
[b][i][u]SYLOK, THE DEFILED!!!!!!!!!!![/u][/i][/b][/quote]
[b]Crimson Cancer[/b]
[quote]*Cops are Chasing you*
[b]Dismantle Police, Yess?[/b][/quote]
[b]NEBO 117[/b]
[quote]Turn left for "club" yesssss ( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)[/quote]
I'm... uh, out of ideas now.
Quick! Everyone in the comments! Make more things for him to say! I'll put them up here and will give credit!
[b]Edit 1:[/b] Wow, this post blew up really fast! Thanks for all of your suggestions everyone!
[b]Edit 2:[/b] Woah! Nearly 500 replies in just a few days!
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Necrobump
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*Puts in Taniks' house location* [i]Error. Taniks has no house...[/i]
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This post needs a bump and it needs to trend again!
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I want a variks text tone. *mom texts me* "Reply to text or dieeee yesssss?"
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*gets pulled over* *police hands you a ticket* "Kill them back"
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We need a Variks Gps voice pack
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*Check Engine Light comes on* Check engine yeeeeeeees? Or, you will die.
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LOL, awesome!
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Currently on the toilet dying of laughter as I read this.
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SUCCESSSSSSSSS.......
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Reported.
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Car runs out of gas VARIKS: Youuuu dissapoint me Dashboard reads wardens punishment Car explodes
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Turn left... Yessssssssss? *Gets into police chase: You are challenged, in the wayyyys of olllllld.
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*Drives past a random group of vegans* "Bone walkers of the garden approach, guardian. They will try to kill your brain. Ignore and DRIVE!" Me: "Variks, take me to the local Ford dealer." Variks: "I remember Ford from Reef trading wars, bought a ship from them. It tried to kill me with its horrid construction, so i flew it straight into that -bleep- er's store to kill him back..." Me: WTF Variks?!? Variks: I take you to chevy instead, guardian. They impress me, yesss... Me: Uhhh... Ok. *At night, guy sneaks up to car to steal it* *When car is broken into*... Variks: Dismantle C4, yesss... Or die. *30 seconds later* Variks: You disappoint me...
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Bump. I'd like shacks in PvE his commentary is amazing. It make me want to destroy everything.
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Shut up and take my money!
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Or when someone almost crashes into you and the gps does not say anything your hear the ghost say what happened to kill them back
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Me: Stopping at crosswalks for children. [spoiler][i]They will try to kill you guardian, kill them back![/i][/spoiler] Me: "What? They are just children!" [spoiler][i]But not for looooong.[/i][/spoiler] Me: "You really don't like stopping at crosswalks do you?" [spoiler][i]Clever clever creature.[/i][/spoiler] Me: "Seriously, no, it's not happening!" [spoiler][i]You will be rewarded, treasure from the Queen. And my respect as well.[/i][/spoiler] Me: "Hmm, that's tempting... Still no." [spoiler][i]You disappoint me guardian.[/i][/spoiler] Me: "I'll get over it, just give me directions to grandpa." [spoiler][i]The Prison of Elders awaits![/i][/spoiler] Me: "Don't let him know I call it that."
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Ayy lmao
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Edited by seraphic_thunder: 4/20/2016 1:38:34 PM*gets in car* "Variks, I have a meeting with a guy named Taniks. Can you tell me where he lives? "Taniks has no house." "Ok then, can you give me his boss's phone number? "He owes allegiance to no kell." "So what's his job?" "He is a murderer, and very good at what he does." *o_o* "He will try to kill you, kill him back."
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XD yes!!! Can we have alarms and notification sounds too please???!!!
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This is the greatest post we've had around here in a while
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I walk everywhere, but I would definitely buy this. It's very necessary for reasons.
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Great