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3/29/2016 8:01:24 PM
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Old people say the darnedest things...
My sister just had her third baby. A big boy. 9 pounds and 2 ounces.
In case you didn't know, that's pretty huge.
Here's what my grandmother had to say about it.
Mind you, she's not even 70, she had 5 children and two of those children she gave birth to 34 years ago. Just three years before my mother had me.
Anyway, I want 'old people saying hilarious shit' stories.
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So we got a cat and the first thing my grandpa had to say was : I can take care of her for 20 bucks
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1 ReplyBest thing my grandpa ever said to me was "call 911 I'm having a heart attack". Funniest fellow I knew. He died shortly afterward.
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"I've fallen and cannot get up" Truly enjoyable
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I was over 10 lbs when I was born haha
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3 RepliesOld people are the best
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8 RepliesI honestly can't wait until l'm an old person. I'm going to be such a savage
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1 ReplyEdited by A Syrian Refugee: 3/30/2016 3:14:02 AMShit stories? Well then look no further than my Grandfather. Stories about pooping are his expertise. He even brings them up when we are discussing things with his attorney. He tells us about being constipated, picking poop from his butt, the pings the poop makes when it hits the toilet bowl etc. Basically every other time we talk to him
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4 RepliesI have to confess, I opened this thread utterly terrified that the OP had screenshotted old conversations of ours. Now that I see that it isn't, I am relieved and can enjoy the thread. Thank you OP.
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Edited by Not Sure How I Got Here: 3/30/2016 3:29:28 PMBefore she died, my great grandmother used to say "You're ass high in alligators" and "I wouldn't give you air if you were in a jar" a lot. I always thought it was pretty funny.
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My brother and I were playing in the woods and found a turtle. We brought it home and my grandma said, "That's a good looking turtle you got there. You want me to make some soup with it?" ... Grandma was an old Appalachian farm girl who believed animals existed for two reasons and two reasons only: "Workin' 'n eatin'"
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Cool story.
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1 ReplyOuch, that's a biggin! My biggest was 8lbs 9oz. And yeah , that's not really how it works down there. Stuff goes back to normal if not better.
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1 ReplyOh cool Cam is back
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4 Replies..... [spoiler]Camnator..?[/spoiler]
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Your uncle [u]_______[/u] was high on alcohol.
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8 Replies9 pounds? You mammals and your stupid live birthing system.
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Don't just sit there like a bump on a pickle!
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1 ReplyEdited by SpaceDandy: 3/30/2016 1:10:43 AMHey Cam just wanted to remind you that you're a bitch hope you don't forget your daily value of salt cuz a sad c[b]u[/b]nt should never leave out the salt!!! Hey don't bother replying I just don't have enough care left in me after this happy reminder! F[b]u[/b]ck you!! :)
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1 ReplyEdited by ANGRY ASIAN 500: 3/29/2016 11:07:35 PMMy grandfather once congratulated his employer on being pregnant, they weren't. He also commented about a (insert outdated word for black people here) being his waiter in a restaurant, not in a bad way, they got an extra large tip from my grandma and dad.
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Edited by Magiktako: 3/30/2016 3:11:32 AMHue [spoiler]I was a 9 pound 13 ounce newborn. Needless to say, my mother could relate considering the things my grandmother says. [/spoiler]
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That was my birth weight & I was tall I nearly filled the cot top to tail :)
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Allegedly, my grandmother accidentally opened an umbrella while in a bathroom stall and was unable to escape without help from my mother and aunt.
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9 pounds! Holy cow! Baby is gonna be a tall one!
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4 RepliesMy friends grandpa asks me if I've had any chitlins lately every time he sees me... Quote [spoiler]"Eatin a girl out is like chitlins, it's not so bad once you get past the smell."[/spoiler]
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8 Replies[quote]Anyway, I want 'old people saying hilarious shit' stories.[/quote] Oddly specific, yet still relevant.
