[b]U N D E R C O V E R B O S S[/b] [i]Hellmouth Edition.[/i] [b]"Hi, I'm Crota. I've noticed many security breaches in the Hellmouth, so I'm going undercover as 'Paul, the Thrall' to see how it [i]really[/i] works down here."[/b] //Crota approaches a large gathering of Thrall by the lamps// [b]"Hi...I'm Paul....I'm a Thrall. I'm new here, just got transferred from the Shrine of Oryx.."[/b] //Other thrall glance at Paul, continue standing in one spot, doing their job. Crota snakes his way over to one of the groups.// [b]"So...what do you guys think of Crota?"[/b] (T1) [i]"Guy's a total ass. Feeds us not but his 'essence'. We have to lick it off of the floor. Just LOOK at the floor here. You have much to lick back at the shrine?" [/i] [b]"I'm sure he has his r-"[/b] (T2) [i]"I actually respect the guy. Trying to conquer the WHOLE moon? With the constant threat of Gjallarhorns all over the place? Those are some serious goals, I couldn't do it."[/i] [b]"RIGHT?! It's not--I mean, I'm sure it's not easy. Maybe some people just misunderstand him."[/b] (T1) [i]"No, dude's a total Omni*****. Literally makes us work with people that explode. I'm not sure that's even le-"[/i] [b]"IT IS LEGA---I mean, I've read the handbook. It doesn't say it's [i]not[/i] legal."[/b] (T2) [i]"HERE THEY COME! SCREEEE!!!"[/i] //Thrall line up single file, and rush towards a single intruder. One thrall explodes, causing the five next to it to explode as well. The intruder stands on a rock by the lamp.// (T2) //Crawls out from nearby hole.// [i]"DAMNIT! Every time, I swear."[/i] [b]"...Why is nobody stopping him?!"[/b] (T1) [i]"Okay, look, Paul. I know you're new here, but do you have eyes? Seriously, are you -blam!-ing blind? LOOK PAUL. HE IS ON A GODDAMN ROCK. It doesn't take an Acolyte to understand this. He is on the rock, we are not."[/i] //Crota, not used to such a thorough vocal thrashing, slumps away and continues onward through the Hellmouth.// (To the Camera) [b]"I've learned a new found respect for my employees today."[/b] //Crota is now on the Bridge.// (Knight) [i]"Yeah, crazyass woman -blam!-ing stole his eyes. How does that ev-"[/i] [b]"Hey guys. I'm Paul, I'm a Thrall..."[/b] (Knight) [i]"Er, hey..."[/i] (Acolyte) [i]"...hey."[/i] [b]"So, what do you guys think of Crota's sword?"[/b] (Acolyte) [i]"Man, that thing looks weird lmao."[/i] (Knight) [i]"I think he's compensating rofl."[/i] [b]"HERE let me see if I can go find it....HEY LOOK I FOUND CROTA'S SWORD."[/b] (Knight) [i]"What the f-"[/i] (Acolyte) [i]"WHOA, man that thing looks dangerous!!!"[/i] [b]"THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOOK AT IT ANYMORE!"[/b] //Sword is cast into the air, the lone intruder appears, and catches it. The intruder proceeds to use it to...fly.// (Knight) [i]"We really should do something about that sometime."[/i] //Crota proceeds to review the Deathsinger, who as of late, has been under performing.// [b]"What is going on in here?!"[/b] (T2) //Halts floor licking, looks up at Crota// [i]"Hi again, Paul."[/i] [b]"Wtf are you doing? Where is Deathsinger??"[/b] (T2) [i]"I'm doing my job, you could take a note or two. Floor ain't gonna lick itself. Deathsinger? Been dead awhile, man. Not sure when she spawns back in. Somebody came in...and she was just gone. Silver munitions flew through the air, when the dust settled, there was nothing...nothing. The intruder appeared to be looking for Crota, but we're not sure where he is today..."[/i] [b]"He's probably jus-"[/b] (T2) [i]"Probably in the shower or something."[/i] [b]"Yeah, I actually saw him in the shower once. Dude had a straight up exotic."[/b] (T1) [i]"Psh, barely a legendary. I saw it, too. He's definitely compensa-UGLCK--AH--UGLKKK."[/i] [b]"Oh no, he's lagging on food."[/b] (T2) [i]He WASN'T EVEN EATING."[/i] [b]"Guys...I have an announcement to make...I'm not a Thrall. I'm-"[/b] (Everyone) [i]"You're Crota." [/i] [b]"I am Crota."[/b] //To the camera// (T2) [i]"Yeah, I knew he was Crota. Dude's 15 ft tall with a glowing visible skeleton."[/i] [b]"I've learned a lot about my employees today. Perhaps it's not as easy as I once thought. It seems I have a lot to ponder..."[/b] [url=https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=FaOSCASqLsE]Star Wars inspiration[/url] <- I figured everybody already knew the good quotes from this, which is why I didn't post the link initially. I was not trying to be subtle about making this a Destiny version of the skit; that's the point.