-BOOOOOOOOORING! You don't wanna hear about that, Vault Hunter! You wanna hear about LOOT! AND PECS! AND EXPLOSIONS! I'm Torgue, and I am here to ask you one question, and one question only: EXPLOSIONS?!" "We here at the Torgue Corporation sincerely think that this is F*CKING AWESOME!!" "THAT SENTENCE HAD TOO MANY SYLLABLES! APOLOGIZE!" "Before you can enter the tournament, you must digitally sign our legal waiver." "Just kidding! F*CK THE LEGAL WAIVER! You're in TORGUE LAND now, sucker!" "Right now, you're ranked fifty in the badass leaderboards, which puts you behind my grandma but ahead of a guy she gummed to death. IT TOOK SEVERAL HOURS." "Also, you need a sponsor for MOTHAF*CKIN' LEGAL REASONS!" "You may have noticed that everyone here is trying to kill you, Torgue personnel included. YOU'RE WELCOME. I didn't want you to get bored so I was like, F*ck it, give everybody guns! We lost like half our workforce in three days, but who gives a F*CK!?" "I probably shoulda set you up with a sponsor beforehand but I am F*CKIN' DISORGANIZED AS SH*T and was busy suplexing a shark wearing a bolo tie when I should have been setting up sponsors. You may ask, "Who was wearing the bolo tie, you or the shark?" Answer: YES." "IS IT JUST ME OR DOES IT SEEM LIKE HE'S GONNA BETRAY THE F*CK OUTTA YOU!?" "Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like our next combatant has arrived! Does the Vault Hunter have what it takes to survive the Appetite for Destruction round? I think we all know the answer: MAAAAAAAYBEEEE!" "Also, you should treat Moxxi nice! NOTHING IS MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!" "If you're still alive, grab some ammo. If you're not, THIS MESSAGE IS IRRELEVANT!" "The Vault Hunter is going through bandits faster than a fat kid in a cookie store! NOW I WANT COOKIES!" "KIDS THESE DAYS AND THEIR CRAZY LANGUAGE AM I RIGHT!?" "IT'S TIME FOR A LOOOOOT-SPLOSION!" "THIS IS MISTER TORGUE SAYING THAT I AM REALLY HUNGRY. SOMEBODY BRING ME A SANDWICH! ... END OF THE ANNOUNCEMENT." "This fight reminds me of my dad! ALCOHOLISM DESTROYS FAMILIES!" "A LOT OF PEOPLE BEEN ASKING ME WHY MY VOICE BEEPS ALL THE F*CKIN TIME. THE TORGUE SHAREHOLDERS WIRED MY VOICEBOX WITH A DIGITAL CENSOR SO I CAN'T SAY STUFF LIKE SH*T, C*CK, OR P*SSY F*CKIN' D*CKBALLS! THATS HALF MY F*CKIN' VOCABULARY, IT'S GODDAMN BULLSH*T!" "BIG DEAL. I CAN USE INNUENDO TOO. TONIGHT'S FIGHT IS BETWEEN FLYBOY AND THE VAULT HUNTER...BLOWJOBS!" BY REGISTERING IN THE BADASS TOURNAMENT, YOU LEGALLY FORFEIT YOUR RIGHT TO CRY, EAT TOFU, OR WATCH MOVIES WHERE PEOPLE, KISS IN THE RAIN AND SH*T.