SO I PUT ON MY BEAUTIFUL, SEXY, LUSCIOUS INSTANT-DEATH DEALERS CALLED THE [b]PEREGRINE GREAVES[/b] ON TODAY BECAUSE I FELT LIKE THERE WERE SOME NO GOOD PIECE OF SHITS WHO DESERVED TO GET A FLYING KNEE KICK OF JUSTICE TO THE -blam!-ING FACE. I SAW A RADIANT WARLOCK WHO WAS WANTING TO SEE THE WORLD BURN, I GAVE THEM A TASTE OF MY METALLA PATILLA AND PUT AN END TO HIS FIREY DESTRUCTION, but after I did it, there was something not right, there was something missing....
BUT I SAID -blam!- IT AND WENT ON WITH MY PISS POOR K/D SPREE AS I CAME HEADFIRST WITH A WILD BLADEDANCER.
BLADEDANCER USED [i]"SHOCKWAVE"[/i], IT'S DEAD ACCURATE.
SERAPHIC_THUNDER USED [i]"JUKE"[/i], HE DODGED THE ATTACK!!
THUNDER USED "[u][i][b]PEREGRINE GREAVES[/b][/i][/u]", IT'S [b]ULTRA EFFECTIVE[/b]!!!!!
BLADE DANCER GOT LAID THE [b]-blam!-[/b] OUT!!!! HE'S DEAD!!!!!!!
As I watched his energy blade go sailing through the air, a part of my soul ached. The thing that seemed to be absent from my glorious face kicks made a return. I couldn't explain it.
So I sprint off into danger once more. This time, I know that something's up. I acquired my next target, this one had nothing special about him, he just seemed like a good option for sinking my glowing knee spikes in to his jaw. Then as I flew threw the air, right before I hit the poor -blam!-er, I got hit by a realization.
My camera had turned itself to the right and allowed me to see the glory of this guy being impaled in the skull, but as I saw my knee make contact is when I noticed it. There were no blades. Nothing to cause him to[b] -blam!-ING EXPLODE[/b], just.... nothing.
WHY THE -blam!- DID YOU DO IT BUNGIE!!!??????!!!???? WAS THE SHEER MAJESTICNESS OF MY SEXY ENERGY LEGS TOO MUCH FOR YOU!?!?!? DID THAT GUY WHO CONSTANTLY WRECKS YOU WITH A FUSION RIFLE ALSO HAPPEN TO SHOVE HIS FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, THAT YOU DECIDED THAT YOU COULD GET THE BEST OF US BY TRYING TO DESTROY THE VERY THINGS THAT MAKE US UNSTOPPABLE!!!!!!
WELL GUESS WHAT, WE'RE GONNA KEEP GOING ATCHA WITH EVERYTHING WE GOT. WANNA KNOW WHY!?!? BECAUSE ALL WE EVER WANTED, WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE... [i][b]FOREVER[/b][/i]!!!!!!!
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Someones caps lock is broken.
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This story is......amazeballs
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This is my new favorite post