I remember seeing this back in December.

No fúcking way.... You share my birthday.

This is the story of Sean Williams, and his path towards losing his virginity. [b][u]Chapter 1 - Wake Up Call[/u][/b] It was 3pm, on a Saturday afternoon. Katie had just called, asking me to get her a sewing kit from Michael's craft store, and I agreed. She told me that she had a big tear in her prom dress, but none of the tailor shops were open today. She said "You'll get a big surprise if you help me." I told her I'd leave right now, and hung up. I walked out of the house in my prom suit. I don't know why, I guess I was wearing it as a good luck charm. We had a big tree in our front yard, and hummingbird feeders everywhere. It was so nice seeing them fly around. As I took a couple of steps, I realized that I'm 18 and I still don't have a car. I know, fūcked up right? All of my other friends have cars now. As I was walking past Bellflower street, that's when I saw it. There she was, that beautiful wide body, and those luscious wheels, all alone on the side of the road. She was begging to be touched. As I crossed the street to inspect the truck, I saw Mrs. O'Connor and the UPS guy, Mr. Johnson in the window. Boy, he sure was taking her to pound town. I felt bad for Mr. O'Connor, but he did marry a hoe. I still remember when she stuck that flute up her pus- shit, I'm getting side tracked here. Focus Sean, focus. Katie needs you to get her a sewing kit, so she can fix her dress. I wonder what she meant by "big surprise." So many questions were eating away at me, as I inspected the truck. It had a sign on the steering wheel that said "Do not touch. Driver on lunch break." As I looked to the window, he definitely was eating something. My heart was racing, but I went for it. I turned the key, and started the truck. I gave a thumbs up to Mr. Johnson, and he gave me the middle finger. I chuckled, and slowly pulled out, driving off. [b][u]Chapter 2 - The Tailor Shop [/u][/b] It was 3:45 when I got there. It was a quiet little place, not too far from home. I walked inside, browsing the aisles, trying to find that damn sewing kit. A store clerk by the name of Michelle managed to find it for me. I paid about $75 for the machine and the material. Damn, these things are pretty expensive. I pulled up to her house, ten minutes later. I called Katie, telling her to come outside. She was so shocked when I stepped out of the truck. "Oh my God, no fūcking way Sean. Where did you get this?" she asked, smiling and laughing. I told her all about my day and how the UPS guy was fūcking Mrs. O'Connor, and how I stole the truck to get to Michael's, just to buy her this sewing kit. She hugged me tightly, "You are the greatest ever," she said. [b][u]Chapter 3 - It finally happened[/u][/b] Suddenly, her attitude changed. She took me inside, and we went upstairs. She shut the door and pushed me on the bed. "Wait, Katie, I'm not re" - "Shut up" she said. She got on top of me, and started kissing me, her hands unbuttoning my pants. I could feel her soft hand grabbing it, as she kissed me, letting it grow in her hands. I couldn't believe it. I was going to lose my virginity. She took off her dress, and handed me a condom. I put it on nervously. She smirked, sliding it inside for me. It felt warm and so tight. She took control, just bouncing and riding it, kissing me, as I just took it, lying down. I thought to myself "Damn, she is fūcking the shit out of me." About thirty minutes later, I was squealing like a pig, busting all kinds of nuts. She pulled it out and kissed me, our breathing heavy, as we just laughed. "Oh my God, Katie. That was amazing." She smiled and said "You're welcome." She fixed up her dress and told me to take the sewing kit back, to get my money refunded. [b][u]Chapter 4 - Getaway Safe[/u][/b] As I was driving back, I got a text message. It was from Katie. I opened it up, and what I saw, shocked me nearly to death. I instantly lost control of the truck, and ended up crashing it. I managed to get out five minutes later, exactly before the cops arrived. Looking down, I sighed, only having a few minor scratches on me. As I looked at my phone, I saw it again. She had taken the condom I just finished in, and poured it all over a cookie, eating it. I scratched my head, smiling big, looking off into the distance with the sewing machine in my hand, reborn again as a man.

I don't always need a sewing machine, but when I do, I run a truck off the road for it.

Dude, where's my car? [spoiler]also, congrats on having a birthday a day after mine.[/spoiler]

This is an average day for the B-Team on their way to sewing club *insert picture*

Girl: Babe come over Guy: I cant I wrecked my UPS truck Girl: But my panties need sewn >insert picture

Tfw the driver realizes he's not playing GTA

That moment when you let a retarded man drive a delivery truck, who also likes long conversations with bacon. But don't worry, that sewing machine will fix it in a jiffy!

Guy: "you see that truck?" Camera Person: "yeah, what happened to it?" Guy:"I saw the guy delivering a sewing machine" Camera Person: "So?" Guy: "well, I put a rabbit in front of the truck to distract him... And it worked"