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2/19/2016 3:29:37 AM
64
I lost my cat
I lost my cat approximately 4 hours ago and I was wondering if anybody has found it. I do not know what it looks like, and I do not want you to know it's name. It's none of your -blam!-ing business. I'm calling the cops if nobody finds my cat and you still manage to find out it's name...and you're all going to jail. The cat does not like fish and that is not a sexual innuendo. I prepared a feast for it, but it escaped the zip-ties a put around it's paws. I guess it would have helped if I tied the paws together, but again..it's none of your god damn business or I'm calling the police. I am not angry. I made that up but it's completely irrelevant to the case; the case which involes my missing cat. Bring me a cat, or I will call the cops. I have dark brown hair, brown eyes, 6'0" in height, approximately 170 lbs. of everything you have dreamt of. I am white in complexion. Israel has awesome commandos with knives and berets so I am also 1/4 Japanese but I am white. The older ladies say I look like a mix between Keanu Reeves and Billy Crystal. The ladies, they love me, you see? Please help me find the cat, this is not an option for you. I hope the information I have given helps you. Gargle warm salt water and stare at the mirror with 3-D glasses on at 88 MPH and you will find the answer. The answer to my -blam!-ing cat. F u ck it j u st b ri ng m e as m a ny ca t s as pos s ib le. I am American and I love jean shorts. I am so angry that there are cats out there that aren't my cat. I can't believe how serious people are on some of the posts on here..."I'm just a dude that likes sports and Nickelback is a good band but rap really isn't my cup of tea."..."I like rock and rap nbo country but some, Ed Hardy, and I want to be like the guys in Jersey Shore." fools.
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So did you find it
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Hdihdjdbdjdbdd
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DID YOU FIND IT?
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2 RepliesEdited by Flat Chest Enthusiast: 2/22/2016 4:48:25 AMI think Ming Ming ate your cat.
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Get a dog
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3 RepliesI found your cat dead, in a underpass with satanic graffiti all over
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Edited by qwej: 2/20/2016 8:38:29 PMI have your cat right here, one small move and I shoot his brains out with this 12 Gauge
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1 ReplyThis is why you don't do crack, kids
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1 ReplyTl;dr?
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It's being a pussy.[spoiler]heh[/spoiler]
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7/8 not enough b8 -ign
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Not your best work :(
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2 RepliesGet out. We don't want you here
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Just read the last part lol no one likes nickelback
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I've brought you a cat but it isn't your cat and it isn't me who brought it for you. The cat is actually a Vietnamese hooker. I've been dead for thirteen years. You are the cat. You were always the cat.
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I'll be your cat Onii-Nyan~
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I know you
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buy a dog
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7 RepliesIf you're looking for your pussy, I suggest you avert your attention to your pelvis area. [spoiler]#BeingedgytoNavySeal[/spoiler]
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Well you know...
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Buy a gun
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Edgy Straight out if the kitchen cabinet
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2 RepliesGet yourself a perrot
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1 ReplyI mailed you one. Don't ask how I got your address, but know that one should be there in about 9-11 business days.
