Disclaimer:
[spoiler]I’ve made similar poems for past DLC’s based on the great “Twas the Night Before Destiny”, and missed doing it, but with Bungie’s new release schedule I decided to go ahead and write one for the February event. So I sat down for an hour and this poem…happened.
Probably not my best work, and probably doesn’t match up with all the lore, but I don’t care lol :P I’m posting it early so people can see it while we all sit through Xur day and wait for the reset.[/spoiler]
Twas the night before Doubles,
When up in the Tower,
the Guardians bemoaned troubles…
unrelated to flowers…
Then Sweeper Bot walked out,
smelling of sweet scents!
Dropping handfuls of pedals:
“Decorations now at 0.04%”
On Vaults! On Cryptarchs!
The flowers were spread!
Cayde-6 strolled to the hangar,
humming a song in his head.
“Hey Holliday!” Cayde said,
“Uh…thanks for helping with those ships…”
He paused for a moment,
briefly glancing at her hips…
“…Anyway, we got that whole “Crimson” thing coming up…
now that the “king” is finally dead…
What do you say we go in together?
Fill some Titans with dread!”
Cayde-6 made an offer
Few women could resist.
But to his surprise,
she was really quite pissed!
“You know I haven’t been in the crucible!
…in…a long time…”
-“Yeah I know, but you got me,
…it’ll probably be [i]fine![/i]”
With a shift of her eyes,
And a scrunch of her nose:
“Aw, what the hell!
Let’s see how it goes!”
As they started the match,
Amanda was jumpy as a hare.
-“Is everything all right?
What’s got you so scared?”
“Seriously, look at their team!”
said Cayde, raising his Ghost,
“We got a level [u]26[/u], and a level [u]29[/u],
[i]nowhere [u]near[/u][/i] your roguish host!”
“Uh, I’ll take your word for it…”
She said, clutching her Chaperone…
“Besides… I [i]can’t[/i]… I…
…I… left my Ghost at home…”
“You [b][i][u]WHAT??!![/u][/i][/b]” Cayde spat,
as he noticed a sniper’s glare!
Shots fired! Cayde screamed!
As he leapt in the air!
“DON’T!” he cried,
as his body absorbed it.
A thud! A grunt!
“Ghost!..Take us to orbit!”
“Don’t [i]shoot![/i]” Amanda cringed!
As they prepared to engage!
She threw down her weapon.
She couldn’t even enrage!
“[i]Cayde![/i]...I’m so sorry!!
I shouldn’t have lied!”
His ghost took them to orbit…
foes teabagged where Cayde died.
------------------------------------------------
“I THOUGHT SHE [i][u]WAS[/u][/i] A GUARDIAN!!”
Cayde-6 plead in dismay!
“You [b]KNOW[/b] that was illegal!” Shaxx barked!
“I could have you [b]hauled[/b] away!!”
Ikora lurched at the thought!
Cayde could be apprehended!
But Zavala restrained her:
“Justice is working as intended…”
Shaxx slams his fist!
“[b]S[/b]HE. [b]C[/b]OULD. [b]H[/b]AVE. [i][b]D[/b]IED!![/i]
[b]PERMANENTLY!![/b]"
“Yeah… I know… [i]now[/i]” Cayde sighed.
“(Huff!) I swear Cayde, your coils must be frayed!”
Shaxx snarked, hands in the air!
They all storm out on Cayde,
except for Amanda, who’s slumped on the stairs
(Sigh) “…Why didn’t you just tell me?”
He said, as his eyes locked with hers.
But in that moment, her look,
said more than any could in words.
“…oooh…” he mused,
“…I think I see how it is…”
He led her slowly to the hangar,
taking her hand in his…
“I got another idea…
You’ll like this one better, for sure!”
He said, helping her into his ship,
for… “[i]a stargazing tour…[/i]”