The parody is weak with this one.

Does your friend happen to be epiccruz80 on destiny

Inb4epiccruz80

Giving up the girl is not an option. So here's the plan. Initiate a threesome with him and the girl. While he's focused on her come up behind him and start doing him in the backdoor. It will be a traumatizing experience for him and he will be scarred for life. From now on every time he sees your girl or even thinks about her he will be reminded of the time his friend did him in the ass. Like the naked man it works 2 out 3 times. Sometimes the friend likes it or the gf catches u and it gets really weird really fast

[quote]Ok listen to me, you'll only get this one chance. Invite your friend over to your house, assuming he actually is the type of friend to accept the invitation. Make it seems casual, like a sleepover or just to hang out. Prepare some food for him to enjoy when he arrives. When he gets there, don't seem too weird, and just wait for him to get relaxed and suggest something to eat. After you both enjoy the food, wait until he sits down to take in the massive (or tiny) feast he just comsumed. Now grab the biggest blunt object and sneak up from behind, hitting him in the head and knocking him out cold. Drag him into an area where you're private, such as your room, the basement or a shed. You're probably gonna want to go with a shed or other outdoor private room where no one will bother you. While you're waiting for him to wake up, tie him up to a chair and then tie the chair to something sturdy like a metal pole or wall. Also, grab various torture objects and a mask. Before he wakes up, tie yourself loosely to a chair as well, but make it loose enough so you can break out. Close your eyes and wait until he wakes up. Keep your eyes closed until he wakes up and tries to wake you up, whether through saying your name or kicking you. Pretend to not know anything and think that you both were kidnapped. Pretend to struggle to remove the ropes, but still remove them after a short while. Try to remove his ropes but don't, as this is vital for the plan to work. Say that it's no use and say that you're going to check outside for something. Have the torture objects and mask outside. Pretend to get beat up and fall on the ground loudly as if you had been knocked out or killed, you just need to make your friend think that you're not able to help. Put on the mask and grab the tools. Go inside the shed and make your voice different, you can even pretend to be batman, trust me it'll fool him he'll be scared silly. Now you can go down two paths: either take off the mask and tell him that you'll do this again but next time kill him if he doesn't let you have the girl, or you can go down my preferable route. If you don't take off the mask, go for your tools and start torturing your friend. Make sure he doesn't pass out or die, but be serious and don't hold back. As you think he's about to die, grab his phone and dial the girl's number, assuming he has her number. Now tell him to tell her that he's about to die and he loves her. After that's done, hang up the call and murder your friend, whether through more torture or through a simple stab through the heart. Take your friends phone and smash it but take it with you. Drag your friend to a secluded area and bury him, along with the phone, the torture tools, and everything else you brought with you. Now leave the area and return home. It's all you from there, I'm sure you got it. But I can guarantee that you'll have the girl if you choose this method. You're welcome.[/quote] You dead.

Bros before hoes man ;-;

I've been in this situation. Luckily my friend ended up breaking up with her and hates her now. But it's still a dick move to do to a bro. Bros before ho- females.

Pengu in a relationship? Now that's funny.

Seeing the other post before hand made me giggles when I saw this. 10/10 OP... 10/10

If you knew he liked her then you should have left him to it I'm not impressed with you pengu