This story is the epitomy of weird coincidences in my life. Around 15, I was on my way home from Christmas holidays with family, north of where I live. We were in a rented silver minivan, as my mother had recently crashed the car. With us, my 2 younger sisters, 11 and 13ish, as well as my older cousin James, probably 18 or so. My dad had stayed behind to visit a while longer. Around the halfway mark, in a town called Boston Bar, I had a weird... feeling, thought, memory, surge, vision. I can't name it. I blurted out the words "I feel like being in a car accident". My mom angrily told me to 'take it back', and I did, honestly wondering to myself where it had come from. Later that night, we got home to find our answering machine full, and the phone ringing. My mom answers to hear my aunt frantically exclaim "OMG it's good to hear you! Is everyone ok?!" Confused, my aunt told my mom to turn on the news and the top story was... "A woman (from my city) died today in a car crash in Boston Bar. With her, her 3 teenaged daughters. Ages 11, 14, and 16, as well as her teenaged nephew. They were driving a rented silver van, and were returning from Christmas holidays up north, where they were visiting family."

This actually happened to me: Years back I moved in a great beach front apartment with this girl [just roommates] who is been friends with for a a while. Not long after moving in she became a born again Christian and moved between backyard 'churches' [cults I thought] and actual churches. We clashed a lot after that as I was and am not religious. One day I was shopping for tshirts and the store had a buy 2 get one free promo. I had 2 but couldn't decide on a 3rd until I saw a yellow shirt with a cartoon devil face that said 'gods busy, can I help?'. I got it as a little snipe at her. On the walk home i noticed a good looking girl walk around the back way behind this block of apartments that I usually walk around the front of. Her way was a long set of stairs to some back streets that circle the block. I did walk around the front and noticed she came out a bit in front of me. It was a shortcut! That night I went out with friends to the bars and clubs in my new yellow devil shirt. After having a few too many I was walking home and came up to that block of units. Remembering the short cut I made for the set of stairs. [b]the next thing I remember I was spitting out teeth then black nothing[/b] I woke up in hospital hours later. I had fallen down the stairs, smashed my chin on my fall, and lost a lot of teeth. My bottom jaw had separated so much they thought I was missing a bottom front tooth but that was just the gap my jaw had separated. Also destroyed my jaw hinges and fractured my elbow. I had my jaw wired shut for six weeks and a plate inserted in my chin. I lost 13kgs from not being able to eat anything other than liquids for those six weeks. When the wire came off, a few hours later I was writhing in agony. A tooth had split and the nerve exposed. [b]this is the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life[/b] I was at home when it happened and the dentist was about half a mile away. It took me over an hour to make it there. I stopped in a beachside park on the way and passed out on a bench due to the pain. The tooth was removed. And that yellow devil shirt? When I left hospital they offered it back to me. It was now completely red with my own dry blood.

One time I was chopping carrots with my sword. It was a lazy day so I was completely naked, as per usual. Now unfortunately my johnson was laying across the cutting board and when I blanked out from boredom, I accidentally chopped my knob off. At this point I'm like, shit, so I put my knob in the freezer and wrapped a tea towel around my wang to try and stop the bleeding. So I went to my cupboard looking for some kind of sewing supplies so I could put it back together, but I didn't have any, so I go to my neighbours house right and he opens the door to see me standing there, naked, with a bloody rag on my dick, holding a sword. Then his dog came out and bit me on the arse, so I started swinging at it with the sword and then my neighbour locked his door and called the cops I think. So I ran off into the field across the road with this dog chasing me. I eventually managed to kill him, but I was like totally lost in the bush. Luckily I came across a little cabin down a hill somewhere, but I was like falling asleep coz of blood loss so I just fell off the hill above it, through the roof and into a massive stack of crack. The cops found me unconscious later. And that is the story of the time I got arrested.

I believe I've told this story before, but might as well tell it again, it's about how I recieved my first detention. So this was when I was in around 10th grade. I had a free period and I was hanging around on my school's auditorium stage with a couple of my friends, just shooting the shit. I forget what we were talking about, but it was getting pretty heated. Eventually I yelled "fight me" at one of my friends and he just tosses me this wooden sword(it was a prop in the play that was being preformed that month) snd he yells back "on guard" back at me and we start sword fighting. And I don't mean just tapping each other, I mean full on parries, cross guard locks, uppercuts, etc. (We were pretty into dark souls and we would stage fights when we ever hung out, but this was a whole new level) Any way we're moving across the stage to where the band kept their instruments, and me, not realizing where we were, I trusted my sword at him. He blocked it but it shoved him into a tuba and broke it. We got in trouble for breaking the tuba, but fortunately no teacher saw the fight, otherwise we would have gotten in way more trouble than just a detention.