Dear Bungie,
First of all Fcuk You!...
Totally kidding. That was just an attention getter. I think I learned it in comp class or something...
Anyways, thank you guys for putting together a fricken kick ass game! I mean, really, it's retardedly fun. Literally I think I have played it so much that I am now retarded. So, thanks for that I guess. Dont worry about my salty brethren. They say they wont be back.......Lol ok. Thats like saying im never going to have sex again because only getting laid 342 days out of the year sucks..
I was mad to until I looked at my Destiny stats and found that I have put over 800 hours into your game. Im not a rocket scientist, but I think thats more than pilots need. I cant be mad that I ran out of new stuff to do 200 hours ago.
Well the real reason I am trolling today is for 1 simple request...
I would like to have Morgan Freeman narrate my Crucible endeavors. Think about it. "The enemy captured your rift!" Say this in your head, only add Snoop Dogg's voice. Im giggling right now actually. Why you may ask? Because I just imagined Kevin Hart saying the opening line of my iron banner match.
So here is my proposal Bungie. I am willing to offer you (8) wadded up dollar bills (if you throw wadded up dollars at the strip club the girls get mad btw), (6) ice-breaker brand "coolmints" (I dont spit partially chewed mints back into the can, thats gross), and my cat Miles. He's a cool dude. I will attach a picture for reference.
Please let me know if this works or not. I could possibly throw in my old microwave if you need more. My wife is pregnant though so she might be a little upset with me... Until she hears Ozzy Osborne calling my Trials match.
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