I never thought an activity would make me want to [b]cut the webbings of my toes with copier paper[/b], and yet, here is [i]Rift on [b]Cathedral of Dusk[/b][/i] proving me wrong.
I...I even played it solo. [i]Once.[/i] Because that's all it took to turn my frown [b][i]further[/i][/b] down, then put it through the [b]SRL[/b] fans, deform its spire and gift it to the Architects.
Months ago, when [b]Clash[/b] was the IB activity, I thought to myself: [quote]Cool! I hope they never have Rift as Iron Banner, though. Pshh, why would they even, that wouldn't make sense. I've seen Icebreaker nerfs that make more sense than that.[/quote]Well, cover me in honey and call me Sally, [b][i]IT'S RIFT!![/i][/b] Which isn't a [b][i]bad[/i][/b] thing, unless winning is your objective. To further rub salt into my oriface, [b][i]Cathedral of Dusk.[/i][/b] <--- That sentence doesn't even finish properly, nor does it need to. Simply; [i]because Cathedral of Dusk.[/i]
With the cherry on the -!wecantevencensorthisword-! cake, I now have to [b]LFG[/b] for Iron Banner. [b][i]FOR IRON BANNER.[/i][/b] I have 10 pages of friends I've acquired over Y1 of Destiny. Guess how many were online?
[spoiler]2.[/spoiler][spoiler]2 people, not two pages.[/spoiler]
[b][i]So,[/i][/b] LFG it is. LFG isn't ready for me.
My witty overly-suggestive banter mixed with my [b][i]very[/i][/b] inconsistent [b]1.0 K/D[/b] mixed with the sporadic loud shrieking that living with a cat and a woman entails tends to put people off. Or, at least confuse them.
So, [b][i]*raises glass*[/i][/b] this one's to you, [i]Cathedral of Dusk.[/i] May your match timers run out, and your participants have John Cena legs.
[b]Edit:[/b] If you don't like this [url=https://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forum/Post/184461115/0/0]map on control[/url]
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Necrobump
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Edited by Jimmy Dean: Sausage King: 2/4/2016 3:52:33 PMThere once was a map named Cathedral. I have nothing that rhymes with cathedral. That map fuc.king sucks, oh why does it pop up. I just realized that Beedrill rhymes with cathedral Read it in the tune of the "there once was a man from Nantucket" limerick.
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A friend got lost on Cathedral of Dusk in October and we found him today. He's now 42 years old with a wife and kids and he's made a little hut by Top Heavy with all those old floating Guardian corpses.
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*comes back from offtopic. Looks for Ponethepoon, but isn't on first page. Goes to second and finds post. Likes, reads, wishes I could like more times*
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Edited by The Loathsome Dung Eater: 1/29/2016 8:55:01 PMDon't get me wrong, IB rift is a big stinky turd of a mode and whoever thought of it should clean toilets for a week. That being said, it was the only game mode that my noobie friend could have gotten the top score weekly done by getting the spark and running like crazy. Had a 0.19 K/D and top score. I was proud of him!
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Edited by Rodda72: 1/30/2016 12:06:48 AMWhy is rift not retired yet? They're probably working on pay per map or something. Thank you IB rift for helping me to ween off Destiny!
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I enjoyed that map in IB Control and for Rift I also like it. It's the only IB Rift map that 9 out 10 matches, won or loss, it finishes with a points spread of less than 3000. The 2 IB Rift maps that I absolutely hate are sniper central Bannerfall and Frontier.I have never left so many matches of IB in the past. Maybe the odd match 'cause I was holding 4-5 medallions and spawned into a losing match in progress that was almost over. A lot of the weekly updates mention how their always looking at the data from Crucible and IB. So many of my matches have 1-2 players leave 'cause the enemy ignited the rift twice in the first 3 minutes so I figure I may as well leave too and I've done often these past 2 days. Hopefully the numbers will show them how dumb of an idea IB Rift was.
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The best part about rift is it made me not play iron banner that much.... Cod it is double xp weekend everyone!!
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I actually like that map for control. :) But I hate it for rift. :(
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I like the really big map on the moon from year one. Let's play rift on thst.
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why. is. this. dumb. map. not. retired. yet?!?!?
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Get in here.
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Edited by AVERNL: 1/29/2016 10:19:25 PMI am already chuckling while I think about how LFG sites will look like during "Crimson days" Bunch of weirdos demanding a skilled "valentine" in the ironic desperation that only LFG sites showcase.....
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Your first paragraph there made me bust out laughing. Because it just reflects everyone's opinion on that map so accurately. Love you Poon
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Bump I loved this whole post man!!
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#DBZ You're cool. I shall try my best to remember you. -----Hard Light 4 Life------------------------
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I love you dude!
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I love rift being in a competitive setting such as IB but the map you are talking about is just a bad map in general. Never liked it on any playlist I've played it on.
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Haha, very nice! I'd play with you anytime Poon! I understand the woman and cat senario, except my "cat" is two dogs that bark at random people outside the window at only the most in-opportune times haha.
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Solo player here too (should be rank 5 today). I really like that map - the distance between rift points makes a death really punishing, and it makes the close matches particularly tense.
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ICEBREAKER NERFS DON'T MAKE SENSE D:
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Yeah PONE Us vets are too old to run that far
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Cathedral on rift.....just leave the game, it's over in the first 60sec. Whichever team gets to the spark first has already won.
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Played there 4 times in a row fml
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Tip for the cat above. On your own for the woman. I love'em all, but I've yet to figure even one of them out.
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I call it catheter of ducks