You're bitching. You're moaning. You're kicking your stupid legs (unless you don't have any, and you're paralyzed) and you're saying:
[b]Lets boycott Iron Banner.[/b]
But let's face it. You're going to play it. You can't help yourself. You're gonna go do exactly what you've been crying about this last 36 hours as soon as they dropped the update: Login, zone in, [b][u]RIFT.[/u][/b]
And do you want to know why? Because you're a stupid butthole. You want that 320 ghost. Or mark. Or the new IB scout. Maybe you just like shooting people in the face.. But
You're going to play. Just like last time.
And the last time.
And the last time.
You're going to fight through the red bars, the yellow bars, the asses that make [b]you[/b] red bar and yellow bar, and you're going to fight, guardian. You're going to fight because you can't help yourself. You are going to fight because you hope.
You hope [b]this[/b] game won't be full of retards and doorknob humping monkeys. [b]This game[/b] won't be the same as last game. It'll be different [b]this[/b] time. That rank 5 package will have what I need!!
You hope.
And hope.
And you hope.
But you'll be there. See you in rift, guardian!
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Edit 1: Trending! +200 with barely any salt!
Edit 2: apparently there are more than a few salty nerds that think this applies directly to them. So if the shoe fits...I guess?
Edit 3: I'm aware i don't have the stats to back up an MLG gamers crap talking. Won't stop me from blowing your face off with mah Tlaloc.
Edit 4: This was definitely made to incite feelings on both sides. But bring your salt. My choo choo runs on sodium levels and enemy tears!
Edit 5: Always make sure you have your Omaha Potatoe plugged into your router. Also, quick poll: Send everyone on the enemy team a "get REKT" message. Yea or Nay??
Edit 6: 300+ "choo choo!"
Edit 7: 400! Also refer to this handy guide for this weeks Iron Banner: [url=https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/183412100/0/0] Iron Banner tips!![/url] I realize I am [b][u]not[/u][/b] Ponethepoon, all props to him for that post. Still funny.
Edit 8: 500 posts strong, and the delusion is still REAL!! Get that spark, guardians!
Edit 9: 600 and we've been visited by Nike! Spent a few matches in Rift today just to get a feel for it. Everyone in the lobby had more than 20 kills and it was a slobber-knocker. THIS IS GONNA BE AWESOME!
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Titans using mida w/ twilight garrison plus shoulder charge plus Titan skating will always score
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You had me at doorknob humping monkeys
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Hey!!! You give buttholes a bad name!! I mean they smell but buttholes are people too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Edited by Garaa0fTheRage: 1/23/2016 2:56:15 AMHey hey I have a real game that treats me like a real person it's called " Every other game not made by Activision"
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Great post!!! HAHAHA loved it.
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I will play because I'm a stupid butthole....it's so true I hate you!!!!
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I'll be in the IB Rift playlist But I'll probably be playing Clash
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I might click the rift symbol. But it's all rumble after that. Everyman for himself! F the objectiveeee!!!!!!!
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I've come to collect those salty tears
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I agree. See in in there OP.
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You fight to win guardians, so FIGHT!
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I don't mind rift Iron banner. The reason I won't play ib is the shit connections. Until bungie fixes all the lag, I will not partake in crucible. In its current state, it is unplayable and not worth the aggravation.
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I'll be playing! Not very well but I'll be playing
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This is actually pretty accurate. Same goes for the silly doubles event. People will play it hoping to get high level drops. At least they added those.
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Well the old saying "A change is as good as a rest" springs to mind. I'm not in agreement IB should be Rift based but what the feck its different and that will do for me :)
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I definitely won't be playing. I find rift extremely tedious.
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Rift is cool it's the shit connections that are the problem
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Thank you. Awesome!
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If you don't like rift then deal with it and don't play
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To salty guardians who don't like rift [spoiler]Don't play.[/spoiler]
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No ib was the only thing keeping me coming back but rift is crap and depending on the map your gonna lose before you start sooo pass. I'll play the division beta
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Rift is going to be fun
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nah not this guy not this time rift is imo a terrible game mode that should have never been released and I won't support it being IB won't play a single game
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I like rift as a concept but, from experience, I FECKIN HATE it!!!! Problem comes from the fact the 9/10 matches, I am paired up with the most stupid/useless/blind/pathetic Guardians ever and get crashed in the first 2 minutes. There is no going back when the other team scores 2 times in a row.....
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Actually no one needs to play IB. All armor has been sold. If you're fully decked out why even play this game. My new thing is long on once or twice a month and play totems checkpoint for a 320 ghost... It never happens...
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Nope not until they fix the connection issues