If you deny somebody entry to your gym based on the lack of membership, you are not pro-Lift. If you believe your gym does not need any nautilus machines, then you are not pro-lift. If you believe women should not work-out, then you are not pro-lift. If you rail on somebody for not using proper techniques but refuse to teach them said techniques, then you are not pro-lift. If you preach about good health but whimper after only 30 reps, you are not pro-lift. You say that lifting is awesome and deserves to be endorsed, yet you don't seem to care about anybody who doesn't lift. You rail on them for not lifting instead of actively encouraging them to overcome their lack of confidence and start exercising. You leave the equipment sweaty and scuzzy so that your germs are passed onto the next schmuck who uses it. Your practice is so dull an uninspiring that it is hard to satirize in a parody thread. Quite frankly, I spent enough time writing this spoof only to find that it is not quite worth the [i]weight[/i].