Here's one of my recent experiences. I'm far from an avid raider, having only just finished the raid on normal recently (not for lack of trying, mind you. Bad groups in general for me, but I knew a thousand times over what to do. ) anyway, I digress. I find a game on the forums, looking for hard mode as I hit 310 along my way through normal. The post seems innocent enough. Something along the lines of;
"Looking for 1, fresh hard, experienced plz."
The use of the word plz should have been my warning. I'm probably leaving out several misspellings, but for the sake of your reading I've corrected them.
We spawn in at the beginning. I check the roster, interested in double checking the validity of my teammates gear and such. One kid was 297, most were around 305. A voice like an asthmatic chipmunk blares over the party chat.
... "Don't start it yet! I'm cleaning my glasses!"
A high octave cough from another teammate pierces the silence, immediately identifying the new addition as yet another child. A statement from another crackles into my ears like a cellophane q-tip.
"Guys, I'm taking my girlfriend through the raid, she's 297 and hasn't done it before but that's ok, right?"
This kid is like 10, mind.
A response from the 297 "girlfriend", again through a mic with the quality of an Ikea television cabinet.
"Yeah, we're about to be together for 4 months." added the drawling, barely 13 girl.
([i]now why this piece of information was relevant, I wouldn't have a clue. But it [b] was[/b] said, believe me.[/i])
[b]Seps has disconnected.[/b]
The party is still going, I recall. [i]Shit.[/i]
"Oh, why'd you leave? Stupid noob," brazenly states the 299 with a blue scout rifle and about 1000 grimoire, and a voice like a eunuch on helium. "No mom, I'm playing with my friends!"
A muffled voice, clearly that of a disgruntled matron, makes it's way to my ear canals.
"You've been playing these games all day, and you haven't eaten or cleaned your room. Get off the games."
The child then began screaming, as though a slightly miffed lobster had taken offense to the existence of his groin. And I left as quickly as my controller would permit.
[spoiler] -I apologise for my awful analogies, I just like injecting a bit of dry humor into my long paragraphs of disdain.[/spoiler]
English
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Nice. Apologise for your analogies all you like, they made me smile.
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Great! That's what I was going for. The apology is my form of insurance, in case my jokes aren't as funny as they seemed in my head.
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AHAHAHAHAHAHA A LOBSTER TOOK OFFENSE!!!! Nice!
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Whoa man, [i]chill.[/i]
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I do not understand why people do not mute their mic in situations such as these.
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Awesome read bro!
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Good post! :)
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Great read. You should post more of these. You have a way with words, you cunning linguist ;)
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Edited by Gunnar2299: 1/22/2016 7:28:20 AMCunnilingus [b]is[/b] my specialty. Wait, darn autocorrect. ;) Yeah, I've been planning on being more active here, as apparently the things I get upset about entertain others. [i]not to mention I'm a magnet for awful fireteams.[/i] I also lament the fact that your witty mannerism there will be lost on the majority of little'uns who have been frequenting this thread, complaining about the "bias" against them and their underaged comrades.
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Edited by mjassassin: 1/21/2016 6:38:01 PMi am anti squeakers i am 30 years old and i dont have time for that crap i run with elite squads 318+ and you better sound like Berry white or I am booting yo azz
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Edited by Gunnar2299: 1/21/2016 9:58:50 PMI'm Brian Blessed in a raid, don't you worry. My baritone callouts will make your ears greet the warmth of my mellow accent.
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ahhhhhhhhhh yeaaaaaa(in my berry white voice)
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One of the reasons I'm switching to ps4. Way fewer squeakers. More serious gamers. Don't get all salty this isn't a dick measuring contest. I have both consoles.
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Surely there would be more squeakers on PS4 since it has more units out in the wild?
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Trust me, it's not much better on ps4. Granted I don't have any experience with Xbox kids, so I guess I shouldn't say anything definite. But good luck to you, and if perchance I see you in game, I'll give you a wave or some such.
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You paint a good picture with words sir. I could visualize all of that and it sounded painful.
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Many thanks! I certainly try. It was hard to find the words to convey the pain I felt, glad it worked.
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lol Are your ears still ringing?
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Edited by Gunnar2299: 1/21/2016 10:46:11 AM
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Hahah... hahahah.hahahahahahaha... haaaa ha HA! Hahahaha... heheheehehe, oh dear. .... :I ... pfffahahahaha.
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Edited by Gunnar2299: 1/21/2016 10:13:41 AMReally can't discern if that's legitimate laughter or sarcasm.
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No, yea, lets just say you made my night. I really enjoyed it!