I'm currently getting 20 kilobytes per second of upload speed. I could live in bump -blam!- Egypt, have a donkey write a 20 paragraph essay, then mail via a mailing pigeon all the way to Australia, it die from cancer, the mail would be found 10 years later by some ugly ass freakshow of an alien and somehow finally end up at its destination because science and I would still be uploading that -blam!-ing essay. God -blam!-!
TL:DR never ever ever live in a city where cox cable has a monopoly on Internet services because they don't care if the Internet goes out for weeks. I'm amazed someone hasn't shot up Cox Cable here in our town....
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What southern city do you hail from