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Edited by RoseScythe:
1/22/2016 5:47:02 AM
287
So.. Just raided with a squeaker.
Joined an LFG team for the Oryx CP.
Nothing out of the ordinary upon joining the chat. Mature voices, everyone sounding pretty chilled. Always a good sign. Upon arriving in the arena, the host tells me we're just waiting for our relic runner, who went AFK right before I joined. He's a 311 Titan, but the host assured me he was a decent runner. We were running the 8 and 8 strat, and I was to take plate one.
That's when I hear it. Distant, but still clearly audible.
"[i]Mom! I'll do it after![/i]"
The shrill, obnoxious voice grows in volume as the foul beast gets closer to its mic.
"[i]No! I said I'll do it after![/i]".
A loud scratching sound emanates through the chat as the squeaker's sticky fingers fumble with the headset.
"[i]K guys, I'm back! My Mom said I gotta go soon! So we have to kill Owyx fast! K?[/i]".
My hearts sinks, but I decide to stick it out. After clearing the initial adds, I notice our prepubescent 311 Titan browsing his inventory. Oryx slams the front left plate.
"[i]K guys! I'm changing to the Twilight Gawwison! Just so I can get to the welic faster![/i]".
I hear another fireteam member snicker.
The squeaker and I leap to the first plate. "One's up". It jumps to the first interdimensional platform, activates the exotic chestpiece's evade, gets propelled clear over the boundary wall and falls screaming into the abyss..
*Guardian Down*
"[i]OMG! What the hell! Someone got off their pwate![/i]"
[b]RoseScythe has left the Fireteam[/b]
Is edit: Just felt like sharing a tale with you fellow guardians. A tale of hard choices. Of paths taken. I hope you all enjoyed it. Cheers :)
Knight is run.
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5 RepliesI love this. Kinda like karma from your last post of booting a guy as soon as you beat oryx yeah?
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Cmon stop making up these silly horror stories. Nothing can be this sickening and terrifying...right? *trembles and turns on nightlight* Tell me this isn't reeeaaalllll!!
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I have been known to do a squeaker voice on command to force out annoying dirtbags who refuse to communicate with anyone under 18
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"pwate" lol
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Played with a 7 year old squeaker about a year ago, on crota hard. He kept yelling 'I wanna have kill cwottuuuhhhh',would not shut up and kept whining about everything. He died in the crystal room on the first attempt and we finished without needing him. He got a gally and started screaming to his dad. Muted
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1 ReplyThis happened to us one night , the Squeaker was actually alright till he got too excited then he would ramble forever.... Did you see that ? Look what I just did there... it was starting to get carried away but we slowed down to get him to calm down but he must have been too loud cause the next thing we hear is his dad. WHAT DID I TELL YOU I HAVE TO WORK IN THE MORNING TURN THAT FUUUKIN THING OFF!!!!!!!!!! He was Just going off we actually felt bad for the kid it was like one of them OMG moments, You actually talk to your kid like that ? after a few min of screaming an yelling his dad must have yanked the plug on him he was gone wasn't on for about a week so dad must have taken the whole ps4 from him LOL
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Love this post, it should be a warning poster before you hit any raid.
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5 RepliesEdited by Teesdale: 1/20/2016 2:50:06 PM[quote]It jumps to the first interdimensional platform[/quote] [quote]It[/quote]
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I had a PSN Friend who was a squeaker, but he was super good at Destiny so I kept him as a friend for raids and stuff. One day I was in an Iron Banner match, and this was an ok match. I was doing pretty good, even if our team was losing. So this squeaker joins me with 5 seconds in the match. Match ends, I got third place and nothing. He gets last place. And a legendary ship. RIP Squeaker
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I'm so sorry.
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I've had bad luck really with them.
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1 ReplyYou got PUNK'D by Ashton Kutcher!!!!
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1 ReplyI -blam!-ing love the way some of these kids say sniper. They say "Snaipoo" I always laugh at them
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I feel your pain
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"Nothing out of the ordinary upon joining the chat. Mature voices, everyone sounding pretty chilled". You never know what to expect when you click that join button with randoms LOL
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6 RepliesI can't stop laughting!!!!!! Well, I do agree with you. On the other hand, we have a 8yr old boy that runs relic and is a total beast! The problem is the childish voice and the fact that we can't understand 99% of the stuff he says lol
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Raided with a squeeker last week and the kid was a g at running the relic. After he had to leave nobody wanted to run relic.. (he kept doing perfect the ogres would glitch on us).
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1 ReplyI've got a few squeakers on my friend list. Some are so beast in crucible and others are really good at pve. I've no beef with em.
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4 RepliesYou are what's wrong with this community.
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sounds like about 80 percent of the raids i've been in
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1 ReplyIf I'd spoken to either of my parents like this when I was 13+ I wouldn't have survived past puberty. Then again we didn't have internet in the late 80's early 90's
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You should change a title to "I was raided by a sqeaker".
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LOL. Thanks for my Lul's for the day.
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If the squeaker is actually calm I will stay, personally I haven't came across that many squeakers who are excessively annoying, I'm just there for the loot at the end of the day.
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TG doesn't make you get the relic faster. You actually move slower during the TG. The best thing TG does for a runner is a sharp turn as soon as you get the relic, say if you started from Front Right (Saturn Right). The last one is parallel to the one you started from. It would make sense to run directly into the relic, TG to the left so that you can corner it faster and get to the Vessel faster. If you try to TG on every platform, that will slow the speed in which you would get the relic. Every time I said "you" doesn't mean you specifically, but I didn't feel like using "the relic runner" all those times.
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And they five manned it the very next go ...trolololololololol
