So I was bored today and decided to do that Mars mission where you go to the Black Garden via the tunnels. After completing it, I got a Legendary Boots engram. Knowing Rahool would pull another half-ass trick, I decided to decode it just for the Marks.
Then it happened...
As I cocked my middle finger, ready to shove it in Rahool's face when he was finishing decoding my engrams for the day, I got a rare scout rifle, a strange coin, a random bond, and the Peregrine Greaves. My middle finger become flaccid, my mind was blown, and I looked in utter awe as I received the boots required to become a member of the Knee Fetish Club for Titans. I fell to my knees, muttered "Who are you great Awoken God..." and I was handed the boots. I asked Rahool if he is sick or something, but he was just looking at his tablet now, not caring about me anymore.
I stowed my boots in the vault, and ran through simulations faster than the Vex trying to find out why he would give an Exotic out of a Legendary engram. I gave up at 1 billion thoughts; weeks had passed, and my ghost had revived me 26 times from starvation. None of my death visions could pin it down either.
I asked around the Tower. The FWC told me to -blam!- off; they didn't care. Dead Orbit began some research, but came up with no answers. New Monarchy just asked me to join their faction; I declined. I tried asking the Speaker, but he went into a long rant about Osiris so I left.
I asked Banshee. He said he remembers that it happened once before, but all of the memory wipes kept him from telling me what it meant or how to fix him. None of the other bots in the Tower knew either.
I asked the Vanguard. Cayde asked if he was on something again. Zavala scolded him, and said he was unsure about Rahool's behavior. Ikora said that they'll watch Rahool to see if anything is wrong. I felt relieved that the Vanguard are on the case, but I still worried about Rahool.
I asked Eris if she knew anything about it. She gave me dried raisins and told me to give them to him. If he reacted, he was fine; if he didn't, then there would be a problem.
I gave them to Rahool. He looked at me, took the raisins, and he ate them. I went back to Eris and when I told her, she collapsed onto one of the boxes, saying, "Teeth on the surface of my raisins!" She then passed out on the boxes. Cayde walked over asking, "How'd you get her to shut up?". I told him, "She gave me some raisins, told me to give them to Rahool, and analyze his actions. He ate them, I told Eris, then she passed out". Cayde fell down and pounded the ground with his fist in laughter. I didn't know Exos could gasp for breath but I guess Cayde proved it.
I asked Xur if he knew anything about it. The only good response I got out of him was, "My will is not my own". Not surprised.
I went to the Reef in search of clues. Petra didn't know who Rahool was. The Emissaries didn't care. Master Ives said Rahool was a disgrace to the Cryptarchs for handing an Exotic out of a Legendary engram instead of a Rare. The Osiris guy said he would only reveal it if I went flawless in the Trials. I knew that was impossible so I went to Variks. Variks initially wanted to throw him into the Prison of Elders and have him dismantle mines, but then he changed his mind and said that the Prison still needs some more prisoners exterminated before we throw Rahool in. Variks didn't want Rahool in the Prison. I knew this was serious.
I studied Rahool for hours every day. I looked at every engram he was given, and what he gave back. He gave out the usual: Motes, Coins, and garbage. I ended my research about four weeks later, unable to find out what made him so generous that day. Was I blessed by the Gods of RNG? Was Rahool beginning to snap, but didn't shows signs till then? Was Eris going to kill Rahool for eating her raisins? Why does the Speaker [i]still[/i] rant on about Osiris? So many questions left unanswered, and yet so much time to figure them out. This goes far beyond my current knowledge. I must research more...
[spoiler][i]TEETH ON THE SURFACE OF MY RAISINS!!![/i][/spoiler]
Due to trending popularity, lets make our petition after all! https://www.bungie.net/en/Forum/Post/186946312
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I remember when a legendary heavy turned into my first ghally