I was feeling pretty down today. I'm not sure if it was the Titan that bagged me [b][i]vigorously[/i][/b] last night, Mara Sov not poking back on Facebook, or the fact that all of my class items are [b]visual representations of turtle noises[/b]. One thing was certain, though; [b][i]Shaxx and I were hitting the club.[/i][/b]
We arrived at [b]T H E S C R U B P U B[/b] just after 9, when all the fine [b][i]purple ball moms[/i][/b] had laid their kinderguardians to rest, and were looking to [i]rumble.[/i]
Shaxx [b][i]almost[/i][/b] ruined it from the get-go. Right when we walked in, he did this stupid pose and bellowed [b]"THIS PUB IS NO PLACE FO-oww! Sorry, sorry. Stay calm, gotta capture those lones."[/b]
I immediately noticed a pair of Exo twins at the bar, looked like they might even be up for Doubles. I nudged Shaxx [b][i]*point emote* "Right there. Exo twins inbound."[/i][/b] His silent nod of approval was all I needed.
We took a seat just next to them, I started off the wooing process by loudly discussing my [b][i]1.0 K/D[/i][/b] with Shaxx.
Their interest was piqued. They were blushing and whispering to each other. It's easy to tell when an Exo is blushing, they have steam pour out of every plate.
They moved a seat closer, [b][i]clearly[/i][/b] trying to get our interest by talking about their exotic chest pieces.
[i]But then Shaxx happened.[/i]
At first, I thought he was being rather urbane. He stood up, and strutted over there with an emote we can't even buy yet.
He kind of crouched over the bar between them, and motioned for the one on the right to come closer.
[b]She did.[/b]
He put his lips in her ear. Not [b][i]close[/i][/b] to her ear, [b][i]in[/i][/b] it. She smiled, waiting for what he was going to say, and then...
[b]"Y O U A R E A M A Z I N G!!!!!1!!!1!!!" I C A N 'T B E-"[/b]
And that, is when she exploded. Bits of Exo bae everywhere, her twin was crying straight up [b][i]bolts.[/i][/b] Shaxx started to cry too. [b][i]I[/i][/b] couldn't believe what I was seeing. All I wanted was a beer and maybe a quick skirmish.
-blam!- Shaxx, I ran. I -blam!-ing ran. I'm a hunter, so I'm good at it. Through the courtyard I fled, Rahool gave me the shadiest look ever. [b][i]He knew.[/i][/b] I couldn't stay at the tower, I had steel on my hands. Traveler knows what happened with Shaxx.
I made my way to the cosmodrome where I blended in with some [b][i]Fallen.[/i][/b] They asked who I was, i told them i have no house, no banner, and owe allegiance to no one.
They took me in...
I may never return...
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Taniks has no house, no banner
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Necro? This is too good lol
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Get in here.
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Yes I know I know very well
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you need a life and to get laid!
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Mor pls
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They need to make a book that has every line Lord Shaxx says in it.
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:) Another good one. Exo bae, lol.
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"Exotic chest pieces" Omfg
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TOO LONG DIDN'T READ
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What is your sweet talker?
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damnit Taniks ... you had one job ONE -blam!-ING JOB UGH....
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Taniks? Is that you?
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Hahahahaha https://youtu.be/G_GGyalip2s
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Great post , we'll done !
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You have oil on your hands.
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Edited by Lord Saladman: 1/16/2016 1:55:38 AMShaxx is love, Shaxx is life
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The story of Taniks confirmed?
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I loled at shaxx screaming into her year. Shaxx always shouts and sounds like he's getting off on multikills
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"Shaxx new haircut" Dont stop him while hes going to the gym "Not now ... IM IN THE -blam!-ING ZONEEE"
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Edited by firstDead: 1/15/2016 10:40:16 PMLove it, as always. Pone, you're the one constant in these forums. There maybe a nerf this or nerf that or what to nerf next, but I can always look forward to having a great laugh and a great read from you. Keep it up! P.S. For some reason I can't seem to follow you or anyone else additionally, even if I remove some users. It says I'm already following a max number of users and that I need to unfollow. I did that, yet I still have the issue.
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I walked into the bar... Horrified. I was about to get my drink on until J noticed Shaxx doing the Hunter exclusive emote that he bought with[b]Silver[/b]. He was just dancing on a pile of motherboards, oil, ambiguous wiring, and bolts. Surprisingly, there was a bolt that exactly matches the one I needed for my left actuator. So I [b]took[/b] one. Rahool gave me an odd stare... I never regret that decision
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Dude...Mara Sov's not poking you back...because she's dead
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Ha! He crushed them.