I needn't have argued with my girlfriend about what chores we would each do around the house on Saturday, had I known earlier that I'd be playing [b]Control[/b] on [b][i]Cathedral of Dusk,[/i][/b] I'd have done them all.
It was around [b]2PM[/b] on this brisk Saturday afternoon, when I began my descent to the [b][i]Dreadnought.[/i][/b] I was feeling frisky and ready for the match, I was [b]over encumbered[/b] with [i]Medallions of Iron[/i] and I knew this would be the match to cash them in.
[spoiler]...how wrong I was.[/spoiler]
I spawned in cheerful enough, [b][i]until I saw the markers to the zones.[/i][/b] My eyes lost their lust, and I'm pretty sure somewhere, somebody was getting [b]friend-zoned.[/b] In fact, they would have more luck capturing [b][i]that[/i][/b] zone than I would with [b][i]B.[/i][/b]
Luckily for myself, I scored a sweet deal on [b][i]Scotch Tape[/i][/b] from the post-christmas sale. I applied no less than one roll to the joystick, aiming my Guardian towards [b][i]B,[/i][/b] and proceeded to do the laundry.
My girlfriend was quite pleased to see me not only load the washer, but transfer the clothes to the dryer [b][i]and[/i][/b] fold them quickly afterwards.
[i]"No Destiny today, PONETHEPOON?"[/i]
With a laugh that was equal parts [b]heart breaking,[/b] and [b]sadistic[/b], with at least [b]5% sorrow,[/b] I said [b][i]"Oh I'm playing, but we're on Cathedral of Dusk today."[/i][/b]
She had [b]no idea[/b] what that meant, yet a single tear rolled down her cheek.
I checked the TV to see that I was halfway to [b][i]B,[/i][/b] [i][b]"making pretty good time..."[/b][/i] I thought to myself.
I spent the next hour checking around the house for pants, followed by walking the cat and rewatching the [b][i]Star Wars Saga.[/i][/b]
I switched the TV back over to the channel [b][i]Destiny[/i][/b] was on, and saw that I was only [b]five minutes[/b] away from [b][i]B.[/i][/b] With baited breath I saw the zone come into sight, [b]I WAS THE FIRST ONE THERE![/b]
[b]Cheers all around![/b] I was screaming, the cat was screaming, my girlfriend was screaming because me and the cat were screaming.
[b]CAPTURING B,
0.04%...
3%...
10%....
23%...
41%...
50%...
69%...
78%...
99%....[/b]
[spoiler][b]ERROR CODE: Beaver[/b][/spoiler]
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ohoho how did i miss this one [spoiler]that's right, gentlemen, do the laundry once in a while and maybe your girlfriend will give you that error too[/spoiler]
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Poonbergggggggg
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Lol! Bump
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Oh Jesus...
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318 hunter LF 2 for black spindle. PS3
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It is sad because it is true.
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I still have never gotten that map
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Not gonna lie I only came here because it's at the top of the trending list. Does anyone wanna help me and my friend do the imprecation quest and jolly Holliday on PS4, we would take care of matchmaking and everything, message me here if interested. Also we will help you with ANYTHING in return.
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I hope you put as much effort into things that actually matter as you do trying become popular on these forums. Everyone here is a jerk anyway, yet you and some other cretins (The Great Douche in particular) seem to want to court their fancy at every turn.
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I hate Cathedral of Dusk. Not fond of the other Dreadnought map either to be honest.
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haha, almost skipped this post till I saw the ponethepoon posted, great as always!
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Not gonna lie I only came here because it's at the top of the trending list. Does anyone wanna help me and my friend do the imprecation quest and jolly Holliday on PS4, we would take care of matchmaking and everything, message me here if interested. Also we will help you with ANYTHING in return.
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I actually really like both dreadnaught maps lmao. Its that one Fallen venus one thats ass
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Ha! Cheers to OP for this!
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[quote][b]Cheers all around![/b] I was screaming, the cat was screaming, my girlfriend was screaming because me and the cat were screaming.[/quote]
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Just glad somebody else hates this map as much as I do
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Beautiful :')
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There should be a monorail on this map.
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hilarious
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Your posts are amazing.
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Literature at its finest. [spoiler]You never disappoint![/spoiler]
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Every single one of these posts make me laughcry lol
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GG to the beaver.
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Even if you're winning on this map it doesn't feel like it. I cri evry tim
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I'm not sure what made me laugh harder, the tear bit or the screaming bit.
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