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"It could be"
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It's not. Look, say you kill yourself. Good job. Now you prove that you weren't strong enough to confront and solve your problems.
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"I don't care how it'll look, I don't give a singular fūck"
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Cmon, Bud. It'll get better. It always does.
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"It won't, I've seen my future, quite literally"
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Damn. Well, who else did you see in your future? Me? Fireteam November?
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"Both"
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And we problably died, Eh? Or betrayed you.
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"The latter"