Christmas Noobs are coming!
How will you fend off the squeakers? Will you embrace your very own Kinderguardian and guide them in the ways of old? Do you not give a rat's ass about it all?
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It is 0630 EST; the first wave is inbound! Variks, get on coms! We need to know what these squeakers are saying without having our ears bleed... Shaxx, prep the crucible arenas; there is a lot of fresh meat headed to the grinder today. Xûr.... Just do you, half these new recruits will not even notice your existence. Reveal yourself when the time is right. Tess! Be ready to fill your coffers with a new group of poor fools wanting to be special snowflakes. Remember, you don't sell merchandise, you sell dreams! We don't have long until their versions are up to date and everyone is on the same patch, so stay frosty people, we have noobs upon us!