Muted

[quote]A Hunter, Titan, and Warlock are sitting at a table. The Titan, a Sunbreaker, is seriously wounded, and has a broken arm and leg. The Warlock, a Stormcaller, is in perfect health, and is sitting as calm as can be. The Hunter is pacing around the table, thinking deeply about what should be nerfed next. Hunter: Let's see, I just got killed by a sniper... he must have been relying on that aim assist crutch! NERF SNIPER AIM ASSIST BUNGIE, OMFG!!!! Warlock: Oh, will you just shut it already! Look at poor Jim over here. Points at Titan. He can barely move from what your constant bickering did to him. Titan: Need... super... energy... Hunter: Don't even bother, Jim. Now you know how us Hunters, the master race, felt when you b*tched and complained about Bladedancers for a whole year. Titan: Please... no more... nerfs... Warlock: Okay, maybe the Sunbreaker was a little OP, but that doesn't mean every other piece of equipment in the damn game needs to be nerfed along with it! Hunter: Oh crap! Bungie is about to buff auto rifles by... 7%! Oh no, that can't happen. *grabs phone* Warlock: What the hell are you doing? Hunter: Hey, Xur! I have a job for you. Xur: It is my will to speak to you. Hunter: You know that 7% buff to medium RoF Auto Rifles due this Tuesday? Xur: I think the cells of this body are dying... Hunter: Move the decimal point to the left a bit! Xur: My will is not my own... Hunter: *hangs up* Weird guy... well, I just prevented a possible OP weapon buff. What's next? Let's see, I forgot to mention something... was it handcannons? No, they got nerfed ages ago... Ah, yes, Stormcaller!! Warlock: What the hell!? I'm perfectly balanced!!! Hunter: THAT GUY JUST KILLED ME FROM WAY TOO FAR AWAY!!! IT'S SO OP!!! Warlock: I'm not overpowered, what the hell is wrong with you? Hunter: ANOTHER ONE JUST KILLED ME! WHY IS IT SO OP!!! Warlock: Shut up! Please stop, Bungie might hear you! Hunter: *pulls out megaphone* STORMTRANCE IS WAY TOO OVERPOWERED. PLEASE NERF THEM BUNGIE, NERF THEM!!! The Titan, unnoticed to this point, suddenly turns from bright orange to light blue. His broken limbs heal themselves, and he stands up vigorously. Hunter: Jim, did you just switch subcla- *drops megaphone* OH SH*T!! The Titan shoulder-charges the Hunter, sending him flying into the wall. Titan: YOU... WILL NOT... NERF... MY FRIEND!! The Titan activates his Fist of Havoc, demolishing the Hunter, and the entire wall behind him. Warlock: Why... why did you do that? Titan: You don't know the pain I've been through these past few days. I - I don't want you to share the same fate. The Hunter respawns next to the Titan. Hunter: What the hell jus- wait, that was a Fist of Panic!!!! BUNGIE, NERF THE STRIKER! Warlock: Their super wasn't even buffed, dipsh*t. Hunter: I don't care!! THEY'RE SO OP!!! Titan: What if everything you ever wanted... Warlock & Hunter: ????? Titan: WAS TO KICK SHIT IN THE FACE!? FOREVER! Warlock: What in the hell are you talking about? Titan: THEN YOU NEED PEREGRINE GREAVES!!! Titan jumps in the air, then rams his knee into the Hunter's face. Warlock: Why does he always brag about those damn things?[/quote]