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12/9/2015 1:49:33 PM
1
You have tried to contact me multiple times this past week as I recall (btw anyone that is stalking this convo, this is all a joke XD) we know each other in real life
English
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I didn't hear you complain.
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YOU SAID YOU VISIT GIRLS ONCE A YEAR XD XD IM A GUY. Trust me I have bodily evidence
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I can fix that problem.
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Trust me it won't fix anything. And I'd like to keep my thing where it is thank you very much
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You're no fun.
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Why don't you tell that to all the poor girls around the world complaining a fat man who's only diet is milk and cookies had intercourse with them?
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I didn't hear them complaining. I never said why. ;3
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You are the one that told me you had tranquilizers in the back of your sleigh
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Shhhhh, quit giving away my secrets. Otherwise I'll give you a coal for Christmas. A singular coal, red hot, inside of your- you can put together the rest.
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Explain how tf you keep a coal red hot when you fly around at the elevation of Mount Everest
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You know those mini portable coolers? Yeah, I've got heaters like that. It's called magic.
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Well at least the coal will serve as a cauterize for when you try to take a bite of my cookies and I kobe the coal off your stomach into your mouth
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I'd rather use a steak made of your spleen <3
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But then word will spread that SANTA -blam!- A GUY AND COOKED HIS SPLEEN FOR DINNER AFTER A LONG NIGHT OF NAUGHTY GIRL FUN
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Not if nobody hears you scream
