$10 silver and gold tier rewards in trials of Osiris
$15 guaranteed flawless victory
$20 flawless, silver and gold tier rewards
$25 All of the above with a guaranteed hard mode king's fall completion
Two easy payments of $14.95 (plus shipping and handling) all the combined services above, alongside an autographed photo of yours truly, Billy Mays
$35 a hollow victory against your pal Billy Mays in trials of Osiris
$40 a personal voice message from me describing, [i]in detail[/i], the location and the looks of my birthmark
$45 all of the above with a bucket of oxiclean that has been sitting in my attic for who knows how long.
$50 a video of me purchasing $50 worth of chicken nuggets from mcdonalds and eating them all
$500 I will personally fly out to the bungie team and ask Deej to fight me
$1,000 a personal phone call from me telling you that I love it when you call me Big Chungo
$1,500 [i]We[/i] will fly out to the bungie team and ask Deej to fight
LIMITED TIME OFFER:
$10,000 Will get you an all expense (your expense) paid trip to Disney World, a free hip surgery in Mexico, your homework due for the vacation time done, a spot as a background character for the upcoming title, [i]"Billy Mays, back from the dead."[/i] hire someone to give me a tattoo of Waldo right above my armpit, and treat you to a nice dinner.
[spoiler]Buy my products.[/spoiler]
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Gosh danggit Billy Mays