You're walking in the woods.
There's no one around,
And your phone is dead.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him,
Shia Labeouf.
He's following you
About 30 feet back.
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint.
He's gaining on you.
Shia Labeouf.
You're looking for your car,
But you're all turned around.
He's almost upon you now
And you can see there's blood on his face!
My god, there's blood everywhere!
Running for your life
(From Shia Labeouf.)
He's brandishing a knife.
(It's Shia Labeouf.)
Lurking in the shadows
Hollywood superstar Shia Labeouf.
Living in the woods,
(Shia Labeouf.)
Killing for sport,
(Shia Labeouf.)
Eating all the bodies
Actual, cannibal Shia Labeouf.
Now it's dark and you seem to have lost him,
But you're hopelessly lost yourself.
Stranded with a murderer,
You creep silently through the underbrush.
A-ha! In the distance,
A small cottage with a light on.
Hope!
You move stealthily toward it,
But your leg! AH! It's caught in a bear trap!
Gnawing off your leg,
(Quiet, quiet.)
Limping toward the cottage,
(Quiet, quiet.)
Now you're on the doorstep,
Sitting inside, Shia Labeouf.
Sharpening an ax,
(Shia Labeouf.)
But he doesn't hear you enter,
(Shia Labeouf.)
You're sneaking up behind him.
Strangling superstar Shia Labeouf.
Fighting for your life with Shia Labeouf,
Wrestling a knife from Shia Labeouf,
Stab it in his kidney.
Safe at last from Shia Labeouf.
You limp into the dark woods,
Blood oozing from your stump leg.
But you have won.
You have beaten Shia Labeouf
Wait! He isn’t dead! Shia surprise!
There’s a gun to your head and death in his eyes.
But you can do jiu jitsu… body slam Shia LaBeouf.
Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf.
Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf.
You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf.
But blood is draining fast from your stump leg.
He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left.
You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck.
You’re chopping off his head now….
You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf.
His head topples to the floor, expressionless.
You fall to your knees and catch your breath.
You are finally safe from Shia LaBeouf
English
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Hello, it's me I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet To go over everything They say that time's supposed to heal ya But I ain't done much healing Hello, can you hear me I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be When we were younger and free I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet There's such a difference between us And a million miles Hello from the other side I must have called a thousand times To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done But when I call you never seem to be home Hello from the outside At least I can say that I've tried To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart But it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore Hello, how are you It's so typical of me to talk about myself I'm sorry I hope that you're well Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened It's no secret that the both of us Are running out of time So hello from the other side I must have called a thousand times To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done But when I call you never seem to be home Hello from the outside At least I can say that I've tried To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart But it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore [x4:] (Highs highs highs highs Lows lows lows lows) Anymore Hello from the other side I must have called a thousand times To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done But when I call you never seem to be home Hello from the outside At least I can say that I've tried To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart But it don't matter it clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore