Welcome to news with uncle Moe Lester (づಠ╭͜ʖ╮ಠ)づ. Today we have a speaker from the landover baptist church [quote]In my daily search for internet fads which are offensive to both God and man, I came across a web series known as "Red vs. Blue". At first, I thought that this web series was detailing the eventual dominance of Godly Republicans over lawless Satan-worshiping Democrats, but I was sadly mistaken. "Red vs. Blue" is by far one of the most vile God-denying shows which has ever been promulgated. Now in its tenth season and with over 1 billion views under its belt, I am afraid that it has ensnared literally millions of people into its diabolical ways. The series, which uses a form of animation based on the Halo Series, is set in a future where humanity has conquered most of space (which we all know is a scientific plot to waste our tax dollars money on frivolous endeavors such as NASA!). The series is about the adventures and misadventures of two distinct groups of soldiers which make up the "Red team" and "Blue team" which often fight each other, or have quests which are nonsensical and do not express the glory of God. The main ensemble of characters are: Sarge, Church, Simmons, Tucker, Grif, Tex, Lopez, Caboose, and Donut. Each one of these characters have actively gone against their God and made a pact with the devil. Since no True Christian™ should ever watch the show except for pure research, this thread will contain spoilers. http://www.landoverbaptist.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=19357&d=1341939185 Sarge is the leader of the Red team. He is a gruff solider with a non-nonsense attitude who at first glance holds a deep reverence for God in the same way that we here at Landover do. He is observant and believes heavily in the afterlife. While these may, at face value, put him in the realm of being a True Christian™, he does some very questionable actions which lead me to believe he is not True Christian™ material. First, Sarge is an ardent defender of that cult that has ensnared many brilliant minds, Science. Sarge has a penchant for creating scientific marvels. He built a robot for their team, Lopez, and has not done his best to teach it the ways of God! Secondly, like all members of Red vs. Blue, he wears a composite armor made of a biological and technological hodgepodge. As we know in Deuteronomy 22:11 "Thou shalt not wear a garment of divers sorts, as of woollen and linen together". He does not even seem to be repentant of the fact he is wearing mixed fabric! Finally, Sarge is a fine leader of men who allows a homersexual, Donut, on his team! http://www.landoverbaptist.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=19358&d=1341939185 Church is the de-facto leader of the Blue Team. He became the leader after murdering his former leader, which violates Exodus 20:13 "Thou shalt not kill". He is an arrogant, self-obsessed, person who has an obsessive compulsive need to follow his girlfriend, Tex, through multiple planes of existence. Church was accidentally killed early on in the series by Caboose. Church subsequently returns as what Church and the other members of the team believe to be as a Spirit. This is clearly instigating the believe in our children to practice the occult with Ouji boards and other such satanic rituals in order to bring their friends back to life! Why just the other day, a friend of mine found his daughter trying to summon her kitten back to life with an Ouija board. When my friend asked his daughter where she had gotten this idea from, she replied "I got the idea from Church". I was shocked and appalled that the creators of Red Vs. Blue would allow for such a fragrant disregard of Christian values! Church is later revealed to be an artificial intelligence unit. Being as he promulgated a lie for at least five years, it is no wonder that he ought not to be trusted and if he had a soul would be damned to Hell! http://www.landoverbaptist.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=19359&d=1341939185 Simmons is the second in command at Red Team. He is an intelligent nerd who often seeks the approval of Sarge. Simmons is also the gay lover of Grif. Simmons's relationship with Grif is a complicated one but clearly one that promotes homosexuality in children. Simmons and Grif often bicker like some secular or Joo married couples do, but they are obviously living their deviant lifestyle. This deviant lifestyle that they are promoting already had one victim within the show, Donut, who was an impressionable young rookie when he joined Red Team, but is now a homosexual. I fear for how many children they have turned homo. Simons is also part cyborg. He willingly had his God given parts taken out and systematically replaced with synthetic parts. Simmons is therefore doubly guilty of violating Deuteronomy 22:21, since he also has the biomechanical armor that Sarge and all the other characters also have. http://www.landoverbaptist.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=19360&d=1341939320 rs. As mentioned, Tucker also has an unusual sexual appetite, which includes masturbation, having sex with a rock, sex with an alien, and attempting to have sex with a white woman. He has not been smote for any of these nor has he seemed to had any sort of punishment. Not even ridicule within the show! The only redeeming quality within Tucker is the fact that he seems to regard women as their rightful place, as subservient to men. http://www.landoverbaptist.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=19361&d=1341939320 Grif is the least liked team member on Red Team (by Sarge). He is a lazy good for nothing who will often shirk his duties in order to find Oreos. Grif’s laziness is in clear violation of Proverbs 13:4 “The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” As previously mentioned, Grif is also carrying on a clearly homosexual relationship with Simmons to which they both seem unrepentant. http://www.landoverbaptist.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=19365&d=1341939748 Caboose is the newest member of Blue Team. He is a fine upstanding young man who appears to be the most intelligent of all the blue members. Caboose’s intelligence stems from the fact that he will take almost everything literally. I feel that if Caboose were exposed to the Bible he would be a True Christian™ if there ever was one. In short, I like Caboose. [/quote] And that was The speaker from the Land over baptist church, Thank you for watching news with uncle moe lester (づಠ╭͜ʖ╮ಠ)づ : Scary new trend by teenagers of jumping into black holes naked how to keep your kids safe: At 10:00 on News with uncle Moe Lester (づಠ╭͜ʖ╮ಠ)づ